Angela :
i keep asking myself the same question at night when everything is quiet and i can’t distract my thoughts anymore—am i the one who’s lacking, or am i just trying to be held by someone who doesn’t know how to hold me? because i gave you everything i had, not the loud kind of love, but the soft, constant kind—the kind that stays, that understands, that waits even when it’s hurting. and still, somehow, i end up feeling like i was never enough for the way you choose to love me. like no matter how much i give, there’s always something missing in me that you can’t stay for. and it breaks me in the quietest way, because i don’t even know who to be angry at. should i blame you for not giving me the love i kept hoping you’d learn how to give? or should i blame myself for wanting something deeper than what you were capable of offering? because i wasn’t asking for something impossible. i just wanted to feel chosen without having to prove i was worth choosing. i just wanted words that don’t disappear, care that doesn’t feel temporary, love that doesn’t feel like it’s always halfway gone. but instead, i’m left with silence, with distance, with the feeling that i’m always reaching for something just out of my grasp. i tried to be everything you needed, even when it meant slowly losing myself in the process. i stayed soft even when it hurt, patient even when i was breaking, understanding even when no one was trying to understand me back. but the more i gave, the smaller i felt, like i was shrinking into someone easier to leave, easier to forget, easier to not fight for. and now i sit here wondering if love was ever supposed to feel like this—like i’m always the one asking why i don’t feel enough, why i don’t feel chosen, why i don’t feel loved the way i love. and maybe that’s the cruelest part of all—because i don’t even hate you for it. i just quietly wonder if i was too much for you, or if you were never enough for the kind of love i was offering. and either way, it still ends the same with me loving deeply, and still feeling like i was never fully loved back.
2026-05-15 13:25:58