Rachel | Relationship Coach ✨
Region: GB
Friday 15 May 2026 17:38:46 GMT
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🍁 :
I really can't understand, I had a relationship with a diagnosed FA (she told me when she broke up with me), we had a lot of chemistry, I created a safe space for her, tried to communicate in the relationship (knew she was a little hesitant at first with being in a relationship), and everything was going good. Then suddenly I started to notice her pulling away, tried to communicate not in an anxious way, but she didn't really wanted to communicate at all, just told me everything was fine, then next date she broke up with me and explained about her feelings and a little of her attachment, she told me beautiful things and told me that she would work on herself a little bit, and we kinda said that maybe she would maybe reach out to me in 2 months.. it has been two months and she is in a new relationship.. apparently happier in her socials.. now I am questioning everything.. and wondering how she could commit with someone else but not with me.. was I the problem? did she really feel safe with me? did she really liked me? What does the other guy has that she felt safe with him but not with me? she told me so many things, so many great things about me, the relationship was going good, and now I just can't stop this intrusive thoughts.. It has been 2 months, and I still cry everyday.. I just can't help but to feel hopeless, did I mattered? was I just a relationship for a little while? why can she be with someone else while still having the same attachment problems, but not being with me? it has just being two months.. why did she broke upt with me instead of talking before and try to regulate or adjust the intensity of the relationship or giving space or something.. I feel like I didn't exist in her life, that I never mattered
2026-05-16 01:15:07
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iman bilal :
If they get engaged to someone is it because they feel safe enough? Like if they made that kind of commitment what drives it? Is it because that partner is better for them
2026-05-15 21:33:55
2
T1 :
What happens next. After they leave but never fully let you go. But pull back when you attempt to reopen the relationship. Do they recover their capacity and overcome their fear?
2026-05-15 19:18:05
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leelovitt6 :
being completely honest if you're chasing a fa you're the problem not only are you enabling the behavior but you're being toxic to yourself
2026-06-16 10:57:00
0
The Traveling Project Manager :
100% off the vibe and energy
2026-05-20 02:24:59
0
Katekittytok1 :
you are soooo good, you are blowing my mind
2026-05-19 04:57:42
3
Kfkk :
I think mine broke up because he got overwhelmed and I asked “too much” of him while he was working on 100 other things. This went on for some months, and he felt guilty for not prioritizing me. I kept pushing :/ His reason was “i’m not in love with you anymore” and proceeded to say he loves me and and understands if I want no contact anymore (no contact is for sure hoped for - and got). So which is it, FA overwhelm or lost feeling? He has actually done this before one time last year, and came back, but he wanted to stay in contact back then (been together 3 years in total)
2026-05-16 09:13:18
2
timkingkraw :
The feeling of safety for her was so rare that it became the very thing that overwhelmed her and made her back away
2026-05-26 11:55:38
0
Cnote668 :
Not worth it
2026-05-25 22:31:38
0
Xochi 💕✨ :
I seee
2026-05-18 05:36:34
0
La Mused :
Cool cool cool
2026-05-15 18:43:33
4
Chloe Beth :
I just watched like 10 times to process… Why would the FA* ask for commitment so quickly then? She asked me to be her gf on the second date. And say I love you after only a month. And ask for and planned meeting families not long after that. She used to say “I can’t believe you’re really mine” like multiple times a week 🥺. We were VERY connected very quickly. (*Maybe DA?)
2026-05-16 00:12:33
2
n a t a s h a :
all due respect, as a former fearful avoidant, but also someone who is also extremely educated on this topic... i don't really think it's worth trying to figure out? a lot of people are going to watch this in hopes to replicate it to be chosen, same with content about avoidants, narcs etc. Obviously education is useful don't get me wrong but the truth is fearful avoidants or any attachment style honestly don't even know why they do what they do. i've committed to people that didn't make me feel safe (unwise) and done many things that no one could accurately explain. I feel a big reason people end up in these bad relationships is bc they are so focused on trying to justify other people's behavior instead of just taking it for what it is on the surface. sounds judgmental but it just creates codependency otherwise.
2026-05-27 12:04:22
4
lilsqueezee3000 :
Unfortunately, this is very accurate. As a securely attached person, I triggered my FA partner to no end. He still wanted to be in the relationship, but when we were forced to go LD short term, he missed me so
2026-05-15 19:34:35
4
Jeff Connors :
this describes what drives the avoidant side not the anxious side.
2026-05-20 01:23:32
0
chrisstovold :
Do they ever go back to normal after they overwhelm at the end?
2026-05-16 18:42:17
0
scotty.quantum :
truth
2026-05-16 20:30:18
0
David J.M. :
🔥🔥🔥
2026-05-16 02:01:18
1
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