The Pottymouth Guru
Region: CA
Friday 15 May 2026 18:41:22 GMT
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The Pottymouth Guru :
Emotional intensity is not automatically toxicity. The question is whether the nervous system is still connected to repair… or just trying to discharge pain.
2026-05-15 18:44:50
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Orenphorm :
Maybe I need to watch more videos, but I’m wondering: how does one healthily respond to flooding without defensiveness, but also without being defenseless/taking on responsibility that seems unreasonable? Recently had a situation where years of unspoken resentment towards me came pouring out, and a lot of it was verbatim issues that I had previously called out and asked about: “I know you struggle with X, is there any behavior I need to stop or adjust to make room for that?” The answer at the time was “no, everything is fine”, but then years later these huge feelings came out as justification for an intentional “slow fade”. I didn’t want to be defensive, but also didn’t want to let myself be “at-fault” for uncommunicated boundaries either. Thoughts?
2026-05-16 19:44:26
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Alli Alli :
May I ask what this looks like in a relationship with betrayal trauma/abuse/lack of accountability? I’m the betrayed partner and totally relate to the flooding - and also feel justified, but I do recognize it’s not helpful
2026-05-17 21:47:56
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Heather :
I have worked really hard to respond in healthy ways to my own pain and hurt. I try the soft approach that talks about impact and I still end up feeling misunderstood or dismissed. That’s when my nervous system gets loud and I unleash the pain in an unhealthy way because I don’t feel like the soft approach is ever really understood and my pain doesn’t get acknowledged. What do I do?
2026-05-19 13:46:57
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britt :
So my long distance (LD) person and I will be having a conversation via text (because he often finds phone calls to be too much). It's proceeding at a conversational pace. Then he just stops. I notice it right away, but I sit in that space. I try and acknowledge that he's opting to take space and it'd be really nice to hear from him but there's no way to get through. If I call, he will ignore me. If I tell him I'm feeling ignored and it hurts, he will ignore me. I know he is overwhelmed and that's why he takes space. But he usually does not tell me when he's going or when he'll be back. Nor does he offer any affirmations in the meantime. I manage for the first 24 hours, but then I feel like a ship that has been sinking and I become flooded at that point. My thoughts spiral and then I switch. I start sharing every shitty feeling I'm having about myself, about him, about our relationship. I try to warn him that I need something before I get to this point, but he's adamant that I am responsible for regulating myself. I'm so tired of feeling abandoned and alone. My patience and softness doesn't feel like it helps bridge that space. At least when I start to flood, it feels like... Something other than accepting his abandonment. I'm so tired of this cycle and when I try and call it what it is, he just ignores me.
2026-05-17 14:17:13
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🏳️🌈Bec0611🏳️🌈 :
Your explanations are the best. You speak in a way that makes sense to me, and I appreciate the nuance you include.
2026-05-16 17:35:51
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Jen Vac :
What can you do when you are on the receiving end of emotional flooding but the other person makes it clear they don’t want to repair no matter how many different ways you ask. When you name how the flooding hurts you and they never ever acknowledge it …
2026-05-18 11:59:24
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Tiffani :
ah here we are, my turn! It's incredibly hard to regulate, especially after those years and years. I haven't quite gotten it figured out, but it's like an overwhelming survival need to get my words out at this point and it does in fact overwhelm both parties. Ugh.
2026-05-15 22:59:36
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FiveDeuce :
that was explained very well.....thank you
2026-05-21 00:43:33
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“G” as in “Cat” :
I don’t interact or comment much, but I watch them all. The way you frame things is pure gold. Pisses me off sometimes, but I think that’s a good thing. 👍🏆
2026-05-16 00:20:42
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Cherryl Duncan :
Can you speak about the difference between a feeling and being triggered
2026-06-11 16:10:26
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Lyndsey :
sometimes tho.. the flooding happens after the first attempt to communicate. it met with dismissal,rejection, or mockery.
2026-06-16 02:27:11
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Stephanie Gray :
I really love your vids
2026-05-28 16:04:05
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Ykciv Frussel :
This is so helpful and interesting, thank you
2026-06-02 14:34:25
1
🍒 :
And what happens if they don’t understand your pain and if the other person is constantly defensive? Feel like emotional flooding happens a lot because the other person is defensive
2026-05-17 20:44:34
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Professor Hamilton :
So good!!! I’m a fan!! ❤️
2026-05-17 15:04:02
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Matt :
So the emotional flooding…does that cause loops?
2026-05-19 14:23:42
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Klaushausnl :
And then it’s so easy for things to escalate when the flooding is met with defensiveness…
2026-05-16 00:07:37
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Jeep girls🇨🇦❤️🏳️🌈 :
I struggle with this…
2026-06-06 16:42:39
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daffodilsanddaisies7 :
it feels like my partner doesn't respond unless I'm flooding...thoughts?
2026-06-28 05:06:19
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Sheryl Suzuki :
Thank you for explaining the difference. This is very helpful.
2026-06-13 05:25:23
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Kelly Lynn :
Thank you
2026-06-23 22:27:46
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Martin_Livezey :
It’s very good and helpful
2026-06-07 00:15:38
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stuartcallaghan :
Hey, I loved the video It's nice to see a woman who knows where she is at 😋🙌
2026-06-18 11:56:44
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RosieRosie :
So helpful…I tend to be an emotional flooder
2026-05-17 05:30:23
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