Dead buns, I think the reason why I find it so hard to be honest with someone about how I am is because it’s not the judgement I’m worried about. It’s how long I’ve been used to saying “yeah, I’m hanging out with some friends, don’t worry” or “yeah, I’m just with my bud” but in reality I’m just in my apartment yearning what it’s like to just hang out with a buddy or grab a snack and drink. What hurts me the most is that I feel like if I were to just drink a lot and try and have fun by myself, watching some movie. It will not play out in that way. If I drink, I will be depressed and just cry a whole bunch. People say it’s best to find peace, but I feel like I’ve had too much peace in my life to the point that I’ve become some comfortable being alone.
2026-06-05 08:05:58
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