my kids live to tell me that "you can't make jokes mom" so I respond with "I made the 3 of you, didn't I?"
2026-05-21 16:05:02
413
Patry :
i told my ex "do not argue longer than you last"
2026-05-22 01:08:06
92
David Climie :
“Don’t be so defensive” It’s perfect because if they deny they are just being more defensive lol
2026-06-20 01:36:43
0
🌸🍸🧘🏼♀️ :
I was at an anti-bullying inspirational talk they arranged for my 6th grade class and the speaker said hey, someday the person you’re bullying may be running a company or be your manager. And after, a kid came up and asked if I was going to be his manager. So I said, no I don’t plan on being a manager at the local McDonald’s.
2026-05-21 15:03:14
409
Sammy Lewis :
When someone criticises me I will say “I wouldn’t come to you for advice so what makes you think I’ll listen to your criticism?”
2026-05-21 18:47:15
50
Leia1979 :
my brother is 6'5 I am 5'4 he constantly picks on me for being short. I told him, God only let's us grow until we are perfect. It took some of us longer than others.
2026-05-21 12:13:15
136
Lord Fikicha :
When someone says: Do you know who my dad is? I go: Why doesn't your mom know? or If you don't know how would I?
2026-05-21 16:17:46
57
Sharla :
I told my husband once "I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you." It was years ago. He's still mad at me for that.
2026-05-21 23:25:25
84
Emily Nord :
I zoned out one day in high school and some guy said “what are you looking at?” And without missing a beat I said “not much apparently” and I’m proud of that to this day
2026-05-21 19:33:56
81
Rebecca Stone-Hawkins :
“I’ve been called worse by better”
2026-05-24 00:29:50
5
Chris :
You could start a podcast of reading funny comments and I’d listen for hours 😂
2026-05-21 12:35:35
50
Cassie May :
To add to the mini golf comment or is that just regular golf for you 😂
2026-05-21 11:59:30
225
Lamby 🐑✨ :
“I’m really jealous of the people who haven’t met you”
2026-05-21 21:15:18
45
Saulsvl :
My personal favorite is “I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain it to you 🖍️”
2026-05-22 00:20:32
14
teianicholson :
I told a guy that I refuse to be corrected by someone who was homeschooled by a pigeon.
2026-05-21 23:11:27
4
Winchester_boys2 :
I heard a co-worker tell another coworker “I k ow your trying your best, but can you try your best somewhere else.
2026-05-22 09:33:20
6
Shannon Holmes :
He asked why can’t I ever let him be right I said then stop being wrong and I might
2026-05-23 19:46:09
5
chie.gomyo :
(Took this one from the movie “Ladybugs”) I saw someone having a minor inconvenience tantrum and they tripped a little, I couldn’t help but giggle a bit and when they got offended and asked what I was laughing at, I said “If you could see what I’m looking at, you’d be laughing too” still one of my prouder moments in life
2026-05-22 15:39:49
1
Fane :
a guy once told me i hurt his feelings. i responded with "what, all 2 of them?"
2026-05-23 03:12:52
7
Stone McShane🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ :
a boss told me co-workers found me to be "gruff and unapproachable" and I reply "and yet here you are talking to me"
2026-05-21 22:59:34
17
Megan “Rizo” :
"I'm impressed by your dedication to delivering your opinions as facts"
2026-05-23 02:42:48
5
🇨🇦 Gigi :
Even a broken clock is right twice a day
2026-05-21 12:09:27
32
ericmashbuttons :
“you couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel” is DIABOLICAL 🤣🤣
2026-05-21 21:24:43
26
indeterminatepickle :
Them: “I’m trying to think.” Me: “that must be what I smell.”
2026-05-21 13:19:09
29
hbrash42 :
Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it often.
2026-05-21 11:34:34
31
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