@authortinaakhian: Same characters. Same dialogue. Same moment. But one of them pulls you in and one of them doesn’t. That difference has a name, and it is a skill you can learn. Flat scenes are not a talent problem. They are a craft problem. I am teaching exactly this Wednesday, May 27. Link is in my bio.

Tina | Author/ Writing Coach
Tina | Author/ Writing Coach
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Saturday 23 May 2026 15:05:51 GMT
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zsanett497
zsanett497 :
Perhaps because I have a very vivid imagination, I could already feel the tension in the first version. And maybe that's exactly why the second one felt overloaded with unnecessary emotional weight to me. That said, I agree that there are readers who would probably enjoy the second version more. I personally like emotions to be shown through actions and events. The fact that the mother didn't turn around when Sarah walked in was, to me, a clear indication that she was holding a grudge. I understand what you were trying to convey, though. Still, I preferred the first version. In that one, I was free to decide for myself what I wanted to feel while reading. ❤️
2026-06-24 16:52:30
13
reset5377
Reset5377 :
The second scene makes me feel the warmth/familiarity of mother but then the uneasiness in Sarah. Doesn’t tell me. It makes me feel it.
2026-05-23 17:32:23
111
theodysseysequel
TheOdysseySequel :
This one: “You’re late.,” her mother said, facing the stove. Sarah sat down with a listless, “I know.” The maternal version of World War III began. 👍🏻 I adore brevity!! 👍🏻
2026-06-29 18:06:59
0
mrs.mulder
ꦏꦶꦏꦶ :
I'm sorry, version one is like Suzanne Collin's writing 😭
2026-05-24 10:00:55
28
vivian.viridis
Vivian | Viridis🍃 :
And this is why I follow you.
2026-06-21 10:48:36
1
melonotmellow
melonotmellow :
Wow this is easy to understand. The 1st one talks about what’s happening in the scene but he 2nd one has more depth and lets you read the room. I’ve never thought of that, so thanks!
2026-05-24 16:15:55
20
kyuonah
كيونا :
I liked the first more but then end of the second one only (when she couldn’t bring her self to say the rest) just that
2026-06-30 08:47:28
0
lauran735
lauran735 :
Do you do any classes on Saturdays I would love to go but I work
2026-05-23 23:32:51
1
karaleearnett.aut
Karaleearnett.author :
Very informative and thanks for the examples.
2026-05-24 07:30:55
1
courtneyg.g
Courtney Alexis | Writer 💖 :
Such a good example
2026-05-23 18:15:36
6
isabelwellsbooks
Isabel Wells - Author :
I love this video. It is helping me improve the way I see my writing.
2026-06-04 01:14:07
2
rwfitzgeraldauthor
R.W. FitzGerald | Author :
💯 This post should get a ❤️from every author who sees it.
2026-05-23 22:27:51
2
mackiavelli_
Ki the Writer :
I can’t wait to watch this masterclass back! Just what I need
2026-05-23 15:18:37
1
authorjessicaitalia
authorjessicaitalia :
wow this was very helpful
2026-05-24 17:21:37
1
j.c.sang
J.C. Sang ✨IS QUERYING✨ :
Omg you’re brilliant. 🤩
2026-05-25 16:15:42
1
sarahandherbooks96
sarahandherbooks📚 :
2 definitely 2 can we make this post a mandate read for some authors
2026-05-24 21:53:43
2
pam_lovesmorkies
Paula❤️MorkiesWrites📚 :
Perfect examples! 🥰
2026-05-23 17:51:35
1
readplayfetch
readplayfetch📚🎮 🐕 :
👏👏 bravo
2026-05-24 20:53:08
1
tidepools01
queerstars :
2nd scene is lived truth
2026-05-24 01:35:11
2
sarahandherbooks96
sarahandherbooks📚 :
tell vs show
2026-05-24 21:54:15
4
forgotthesky
Kimiyo Santana :
Talk about painting a picture 😊
2026-05-30 22:36:24
0
sainttravis123
SaintTravis123 :
second scene ofcos!
2026-05-23 17:28:25
0
straightblueperiodfan
ricco :
I didn’t like both
2026-06-29 06:23:35
0
labron03
Duke :
both sounded extremely boring
2026-06-26 14:26:02
2
e.manawari
E. Manawari🍀author :
💚💚💚
2026-05-24 06:48:28
1
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