Tina | Author/ Writing Coach
Region: US
Saturday 23 May 2026 15:05:51 GMT
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zsanett497 :
Perhaps because I have a very vivid imagination, I could already feel the tension in the first version. And maybe that's exactly why the second one felt overloaded with unnecessary emotional weight to me. That said, I agree that there are readers who would probably enjoy the second version more. I personally like emotions to be shown through actions and events. The fact that the mother didn't turn around when Sarah walked in was, to me, a clear indication that she was holding a grudge. I understand what you were trying to convey, though. Still, I preferred the first version. In that one, I was free to decide for myself what I wanted to feel while reading. ❤️
2026-06-24 16:52:30
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Reset5377 :
The second scene makes me feel the warmth/familiarity of mother but then the uneasiness in Sarah. Doesn’t tell me. It makes me feel it.
2026-05-23 17:32:23
111
TheOdysseySequel :
This one: “You’re late.,” her mother said, facing the stove. Sarah sat down with a listless, “I know.” The maternal version of World War III began. 👍🏻 I adore brevity!! 👍🏻
2026-06-29 18:06:59
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ꦏꦶꦏꦶ :
I'm sorry, version one is like Suzanne Collin's writing 😭
2026-05-24 10:00:55
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Vivian | Viridis🍃 :
And this is why I follow you.
2026-06-21 10:48:36
1
melonotmellow :
Wow this is easy to understand. The 1st one talks about what’s happening in the scene but he 2nd one has more depth and lets you read the room. I’ve never thought of that, so thanks!
2026-05-24 16:15:55
20
كيونا :
I liked the first more but then end of the second one only (when she couldn’t bring her self to say the rest) just that
2026-06-30 08:47:28
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lauran735 :
Do you do any classes on Saturdays I would love to go but I work
2026-05-23 23:32:51
1
Karaleearnett.author :
Very informative and thanks for the examples.
2026-05-24 07:30:55
1
Courtney Alexis | Writer 💖 :
Such a good example
2026-05-23 18:15:36
6
Isabel Wells - Author :
I love this video. It is helping me improve the way I see my writing.
2026-06-04 01:14:07
2
R.W. FitzGerald | Author :
💯 This post should get a ❤️from every author who sees it.
2026-05-23 22:27:51
2
Ki the Writer :
I can’t wait to watch this masterclass back! Just what I need
2026-05-23 15:18:37
1
authorjessicaitalia :
wow this was very helpful
2026-05-24 17:21:37
1
J.C. Sang ✨IS QUERYING✨ :
Omg you’re brilliant. 🤩
2026-05-25 16:15:42
1
sarahandherbooks📚 :
2 definitely 2 can we make this post a mandate read for some authors
2026-05-24 21:53:43
2
Paula❤️MorkiesWrites📚 :
Perfect examples! 🥰
2026-05-23 17:51:35
1
readplayfetch📚🎮 🐕 :
👏👏 bravo
2026-05-24 20:53:08
1
queerstars :
2nd scene is lived truth
2026-05-24 01:35:11
2
sarahandherbooks📚 :
tell vs show
2026-05-24 21:54:15
4
Kimiyo Santana :
Talk about painting a picture 😊
2026-05-30 22:36:24
0
SaintTravis123 :
second scene ofcos!
2026-05-23 17:28:25
0
ricco :
I didn’t like both
2026-06-29 06:23:35
0
Duke :
both sounded extremely boring
2026-06-26 14:26:02
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E. Manawari🍀author :
💚💚💚
2026-05-24 06:48:28
1
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