shawn420redbeard :
I understand that, but theres no instruction manual, no blueprint. And if i know myself, ill miss it . the specific way god built me was such a design that causes me to miss blessings. there was a time when I would stress and try to do the unknown, but these recent days, man I don't even care. I dont even want a blessing. im 50 years old, heaven isnt too far away, and I ainf gonna lie, going home is far more attractive than being in this world trying to figure the unknown out. Ive spent 50 years being the last. being forgotten. being counted out and living in lack, 50 years of that causes the opposite to lose its luster. the males in my bloodline don't live past 55, so im almost dead anyway. you guys figure it out, I wanna just float around and wait to the ending so I can go back home. I am sure I was sent here to experience being human, and I have graded the experience. IT FREAKIN SUCKS. im literally putting in a request when I get to heaven. the request to NEVER EVER come back to this world . I know there were a few good things, but most of it was so awful that I canf remember what was good.
2026-05-25 16:15:28