@drjondabach: Most couples I work with are dealing with this exact dynamic. The husband leans dismissive avoidant and the wife is left feeling shut out, confused, and desperate for more connection. She wants closeness, reassurance, emotional presence. He wants space, calm, and to not feel overwhelmed. So the more she reaches, the more he pulls back. And the more he pulls back, the harder she pushes. That cycle isn’t random. It’s attachment playing out in real time, and if you don’t understand it, you’ll keep misreading his distance as not caring when it’s actually him trying to regulate. Here’s the hard truth. You cannot chase a dismissive avoidant into closeness. It backfires every time. The shift is learning how to stay grounded, say what you need clearly without flooding him, and create moments of connection that feel safe instead of pressured. That doesn’t mean shrinking yourself. It means being intentional instead of reactive. Change the pattern, and you change the relationship. #DismissiveAvoidant #MarriageAdvice #AttachmentStyles

drjondabach
drjondabach
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Wednesday 27 May 2026 15:37:40 GMT
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bizbillette
bizbillette :
At this point I just think he never loved me at the first place
2026-05-28 08:44:53
1954
fionah.hornauer
Fionah Hornauer :
You forgot the part he makes sure he is a victim.
2026-07-19 18:13:03
1
zzzzz777828273
zzzzz777828273 :
His fyp
2026-07-19 11:47:14
0
lunitari8
Lunitari :
I'd say send this to my husband, but he thinks he's perfect. I'm the bad guy.
2026-05-28 19:39:22
628
observe123
Observe123 :
Neglected is exactly how I feel. 15 years married, 20 years together and I have emotionally checked out. Protecting my peace, living like roomates and healing myself until I can get out physically
2026-05-28 00:42:13
714
cindyfoote777
Cindful :
he keep changing the subject
2026-07-19 10:24:47
0
labsrock07
🐾🐾LABSROCK07❌❌ :
I don’t talk anymore. I already know anything I say will be invalidated and dismissed. I don’t expect anything anymore so I won’t be disappointed. I tried for years and he never changed, actually it made the problem worse. Now I just try to protect my peace as much as possible.
2026-05-29 00:56:59
206
sun7feather
sun7feather :
So this is a dismissive avoidant does? Mine goes silent and stays in the garage. Stays out all day
2026-07-16 22:05:36
0
ilovebeingqueen5
QueenB :
This is literally why I am getting a divorce. My husband thought that every emotion that ever came out of me was just a burden. I was never allowed to be myself. Everything that I brought up was a burden. I brought it up at the wrong time in the wrong tone. In the wrong atmosphere, the wrong universe, it was never going to be okay for me to be me
2026-07-16 07:03:37
6
whitneypedia
whitneypedia :
i left him
2026-05-27 18:40:27
410
onlyoneofushere
Justme247 :
I daydream about leaving. I pray to God daily to help me find a way out.
2026-05-29 20:41:38
158
cheffy250
Cheffy :
148 days divorced. Broken hearted. This was my life. Begging, trying, reading, praying, writing him letters b/c he wouldn't talk to me. I tried my ass off.
2026-05-28 07:29:16
187
aprilleunfiltered
aprilleunfiltered :
ChatGPT is working overtime.
2026-05-29 03:20:19
56
kat_vdk
Kat_vdk 🇨🇦 :
When I try to have hard conversations he says I’m just getting mad at him, like ok am I not allowed to be mad at you?? And if I show any sort of emotional frustration he says I’m just turning it into an argument like what do I do
2026-05-28 17:05:30
31
unfilteredlace
UnfilteredLace🆘🇺🇸 :
I just stopped talking or caring or engaging. It’s been quite peaceful now that I’m protecting my own energy.
2026-05-27 23:30:09
101
pato24906
pato2 :
Can’t believe I almost skipped book The Hidden Life Code by Mason Beckerman, feels like knowledge we were never meant to find.
2026-05-28 11:15:02
331
sofialachtar
Sofia Lachtar :
It’s energy draining
2026-05-28 09:58:47
227
texanlady50
Texan Lady50 :
I am so neglected😁 all I can do is laugh at myself for my extreme poor choice that led me here what else am I gonna do but lol, tears dont work
2026-06-11 14:04:29
18
synenhlanhla
Synenhlanhla :
I feel heard and seen thank you
2026-06-19 06:09:24
6
emilycoy859
emilycoy859 :
Mine used to tell me that I could learn to control my feelings too.
2026-05-27 16:57:25
140
mekkaah
Mecca Ma'at :
28 years today. I left for good today.
2026-05-29 01:00:11
127
theledge31
theledge31 🇦🇺 :
No response is a response.
2026-06-05 09:35:49
9
davidvaughan412
David Vaughan🇨🇦 :
im the dismissive one. because I wasnt able to hear her i thought everything was fine. it wasnt because im lazy or because im a coward, its because I never learned what this even meant. now that im aware of the pattern im doing eberything I can to change, and I will accept accountability but I will not accept shame because I didnt have good relationship skills or emotional intelligence modelled for me.
2026-05-27 15:51:47
46
xtremelyblessedinnerg
Big_Country :
His fyp not mine
2026-06-15 12:47:31
5
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