𝑩𝒖𝒓𝒈𝒘˙⋆✮˙ :
Since everyone is talking about our boy i guess i will too. This might be embarrassing to say but I used to be deeply insecure, because of all the part of myself that I thought was “imperfect” I denied my own interests because i thought it was just not for me, even with my feelings and the things that naturally made me who I was like what do i look like, because I believed that if I got rid all of them, maybe I could become someone better. But the more I tried to change myself, the more strange I felt, it just feel like I stuck with my own negative thoughts about myself everyday and it is actually tiring. Maybe thats why I felt so attached to Scaramouche. But when I saw Wanderer, the feeling was different. Honestly, from the very beginning, what I felt wasn’t affection for him at all, it was something close to admiration. At the time, I couldnt fully explain why I admired him so much, i only knew that i wanted to become someone like him, someone who could keep moving forward even without being perfect, someone who could live with all the ugly, imperfections parts of himself instead of pretending they never existed. Seeing that made me start looking at myself differently. Realizing how cruel I had been to myself for so long, constantly trying to reject the parts of me that weren’t beautiful or easy to love. And slowly, I began to understand that I didn’t need to become someone else to deserve happiness. In the end f the day, i am still the only one who could decide whether i deserve it or not. i just needed to learn how to be gentler with myself and to accept that being flawed is simply part of being human.
That’s why I’m genuinely happy for Wanderer when he finally got a to move on from his past and change. Because I understand how important that chance was for him and how important it is for people who are still struggling to accept themselves, including myself. The chance to keep living as who you truly are without having to erase every ugly or imperfect part of yourself, is more precious than I ever realized.
2026-05-29 13:34:38