Pao :
it just feels unfair, because you were the one who came into my life first. hindi naman ako yung lumapit sayo, hindi naman kita hinanap. ikaw yung unang nagparamdam na may something, na may meaning lahat ng ginagawa natin. you were the one who made everything feel real, like it wasn’t just something temporary. I wasn’t even looking for you, but somehow, you became part of my everyday. little by little, nasanay ako sa’yo—sa presence mo, sa paraan ng pakikipag-usap mo, sa paraan ng pagtrato mo sa akin. you made me feel like I mattered, like I was someone you genuinely wanted, someone worth choosing. but now I realize… maybe you just loved the idea of loving me. maybe you liked how I cared, how I stayed, how I understood you. but when it came to actually choosing me, to standing by what we had, you couldn’t do it. you couldn’t be certain, and you couldn’t be consistent. hindi ako tanga para hindi mapansin yan. I see everything, I feel everything. napapansin ko yung maliliit na pagbabago—yung paglayo mo, yung pagiging inconsistent mo, yung mga pagkakataon na parang wala ka na. hindi ako bulag para hindi makita kung sino ang mas nag-eeffort, kung sino ang mas may pakialam, at kung sino ang mas natatakot na mawala ang isa’t isa.
hindi ako tanga para hindi mapansin na china-chat mo lang ako kapag gusto mo—kapag okay ka, kapag masaya ka, kapag convenient para sayo. but have you ever thought na kaya kitang intindihin kahit anong pinagdadaanan mo? even in your lowest, kaya kong iparamdam sayo na hindi ka nag-iisa. I was willing to stay, not just in your good days, but even in your worst ones. alam ko kung kailan nagbabago ang trato mo. ramdam ko kung kailan ka hindi na sigurado. and even without you saying anything, naiintindihan ko kung ano na yung nangyayari sa atin. I’m not stupid—I just chose to stay, even when I already knew the truth.and the truth is, kahit nakikita ko na lahat, I still stayed. I stayed even when things started to feel one-sided.
2026-06-01 12:17:08