@reddit3896: AT MY DAD'S RETIREMENT PARTY. HE THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY TO INTRODUCE ME LIKE: "THE FAMILY." EVERYONE LAUGHED. I DIDN'T FLINCH. I JUST SMILED, LIFTED MY GLASS, AND SAID: "CHEERS—THIS IS THE LAST TIME ANY OF YOU WILL SEE ME." THE ROOM WENT COMPLETELY SILENT. THREE WEEKS LATER...