@drjondabach: Most couples I work with are dealing with this exact dynamic. The husband leans dismissive avoidant and the wife is left feeling shut out, confused, and desperate for more connection. She wants closeness, reassurance, emotional presence. He wants space, calm, and to not feel overwhelmed. So the more she reaches, the more he pulls back. And the more he pulls back, the harder she pushes. That cycle isn’t random. It’s attachment playing out in real time, and if you don’t understand it, you’ll keep misreading his distance as not caring when it’s actually him trying to regulate. Here’s the hard truth. You cannot chase a dismissive avoidant into closeness. It backfires every time. The shift is learning how to stay grounded, say what you need clearly without flooding him, and create moments of connection that feel safe instead of pressured. That doesn’t mean shrinking yourself. It means being intentional instead of reactive. Change the pattern, and you change the relationship. #DismissiveAvoidant #MarriageAdvice #AttachmentStyles

Jenmarie :

30 years. I’m desperate to get out.

Ray Ray :

Why oh whyyy oh why am I in this situation 😩

OverTheBorderline :

Thank you I needed to hear this and you distilled this perfectly. I know that every feeling I had was not a fact, but I also know that every feeling I had was ignored.

🦆 Duck One :

So what do you do? Because nothings working

RachRA💜 :

Choose yourself--Walk away!!!

cass🇨🇦 :

thank you♡

njwarren80 :

All your videos have been describing what my marriage was like. Divorce was final 2 weeks ago.

lindie gibbs :

Thank you! I feel heard!

Marni Tiani Self :

I should have left 20+ years ago, honestly.

vashti.choon :

omg this is very familiar

MrsweetTT :

Thank you for your emotional maturity❤️

Mich Crea :

Now the issue is I cringe when he kisses me or hugs me and I’m the problem 😅

Human || Being :

BrendaFaithOverFear :

My first marriage 💯

lol :

My life 🥺

Laura 🇨🇦 :

Yes absolutely

NO VEIL RECOVERY ON YOUTUBE :

thank u

Christa Nicolene Kennedy :

amen

AngelaLawry :

Thank you for this video 💕. This was my marriage and it was horrible.

FifiSeko🎶 :

So how do I deal with this situation

Keri :

This.

Assia :

so what's the escape plan? especially with small kids and no financial stability

Kristina Taylor :

"unstable" for saying I need support postpartum!

Obear :

Yep I married one and am told I’m the crazy one because I want conversation and discussion , he looks at me like what do you mean? He has more time and energy to fight me than to talk and listen and connect with me , that’s where he shows up, with angry interaction . Im done asking for basics and hoping for bare minimum .

Kayla :

Just run from them save yourself 🖤🖤🖤