@oceansofclarityy: #relationshipgoals #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #anxiousattachment #dating

kira ˙⋆✮ :

slide 5 is the ad

Mar :

The anxiety of a Tuesday 8 pm meeting after work would kill me

Favorite Scoops :

Adding some: - Date each other always. Go out on dates at least every other week. - Treat your partner as your best friend. Tell them secrets, hang out together, laugh together, vent to them, etc. - Communication is so important. When they do something that hurts you, tell them. Don't let it fester. If you enjoy something they do for you, tell them how much you appreciate them for doing that. Tell them everything, including how much you love them. - Apologize when you hurt them or if you were wrong/ did something wrong. Not only apologize, but try to understand, learn from it, and try to do better. We make mistakes, but it's what you do after that matters most. Take accountability, don't pass blame.

Sam :

I don't agree with the second slide. saying "I feel" is important so the other person doesn't get defensive because it's not putting intentions ON them. you should be able to tell someone what their actions felt like to you and let them know how it impacted you. "I get those were not your intentions but this hurt/bothered/concerned me and here's why" I think sometimes you also need to talk thru it with your partner and be vulerable to be able to get to the point where you can understand the core of it. just "knowing" immediately the core or why takes time to work through imo

Fluffy689 :

Since my comment was deleted for whatever reason, I'll put it again. Its better to say "I feel like" instead of using You statements. Saying You makes the other person immediately think they're a problem and take offense. Its better to say "I feel like alone when..." or "I feel lonely when TV is taking up our freetime" or "I would love it if we could enjoy the outdoors more" "I feel like the relationship is lacking without more dates" or "I feel like I am not understood when I can't explain etc" or "I feel lonely when there isn't a listening ear"

lizard :

I don’t understand how you didn’t say I feel like? Explain how you said it instead of

jake :

Relationships are infinite sum games — zero sum games are where someone wins, but if someone wins, then everyone else loses (think chess) and positive sum games are where everyone wins (think trading or bartering) but relationship are intended to make to go forever, it’s not finite or transactional — the goal is to make it go forever. So if you “win” in a relationship, the other loses, or if you try to make everyone “win” then it’s still finite. Removing winning from the framework and the goal is to keep it going forever. 💛

bwee_art222 :

I made a joke one dayong saying " what's the 411" and my fiance never heard of that saying before so I explained it (like what's happening, what's the details basically) well later that week we get in an argument over communication, we came up with a code word though, anytime one of us has a problem or situation they cannot explain in that moment, you say "4-eleven" lol and it basically means to us (I can't explain right now , trust me , we will talk later) and it has helped so much

Des :

I get why she told you guys to completely stop. Because we’re often used to saying we feel like… and immediately after is some sort of projection rather than actual feelings and it often leads to more confusion.

Mango🧃 :

Who’s your therapist? These are so good

bloodbend3r :

I wish she wanted to make things work the way I did.

☣︎☠︎︎𝖆𝖑𝖊𝔁 ☠︎︎☣︎ :

Only needed this abt 7 months ago.

️ :

i’m seeing this too late my world shattered and i don’t know where to begin

Ally :

The “I feel like” is the only one that is off putting. The phrase of “I feel like” or even better: “when you do (x) it makes me feel (y)” are replacement statements for absolute accusations like “you never listen to me” or “you always (x)” bc when you say how you feel, there is ownership in it to an objective situation with no accusations thrown. That opens the door to understanding and repair.

Laura Wild :

When I stopped trying to win my marriage totally transformed for the better. Why do we treat our favorite person in the world like an enemy? The person we trust most in the world should be given the benefit of the doubt every. single. time. We are on the same team, we should lean in and try to understand each other deeply instead of petty sparring and trying to prove our best friend wrong.

ƙęň🫯 :

Hold on bc why am I taking this to head if command (my man)

Bran Bran :

You misunderstood the first part. The problem people say “I feel like” when asked to express an emotion but they’re actually just expressing a thought.

carlina :

Ad

jessica bucci :

The appreciation before a complaint reeks of “compliment sandwich” in the corporate world. It’s rarely sincere and always used to soften a blow. It feels condescending when it’s used. If my partner ever did that, i would immediately feel like it was bullshit. Just say what you need to say. Don’t try sugarcoating it.

Andrew Collier :

Seth Does Stuff :

this is an ad for an app, by the way

Nia Speaks The Truth🤍 :

Honestly I agree

𝒜𝓇𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓃𝒶 ｡･:*˚:✧｡ :

I wish we could’ve made it work 💔