Tavares Meu Fí :
I'm tired. It's not the kind of tiredness that sleep solves, it's the kind of tiredness that comes from within, the kind that makes you question whether all this will be worth it someday. I'm afraid of the future, afraid of not getting there... and, to be honest, I don't even know exactly where "there" is. Sometimes it feels like I'm chasing something I don't even know exists.
Fear paralyzes me. It's like a shadow that walks with me, even when the sun is beating down. Kierkegaard said that fear precedes faith, perhaps because, before believing, we need to face the void. And I face that void every day. Sometimes it stares back at me.
I'm afraid of not being enough, of not taking advantage of what life has to offer, of looking back and seeing that I wasted time on insecurities, comparisons, silences. Schopenhauer said that life oscillates between pain and boredom, and, honestly, sometimes it feels exactly like that.
I'm afraid of being alone, even when I distance myself. It's strange... I want to be close, but I also want to hide. Maybe loneliness is the price of trying to understand too much. Nietzsche said that those who dive too deep end up encountering the abyss, and the abyss sometimes seems to recognize me.
Even so, I keep trying. Even with the fear, with the emptiness, with the doubt. Because deep down I just wanted to be happy, to make people proud, to win. I wanted to be everything, to have everything, but lately, I just wanted to feel whole.
2026-06-14 21:46:26