Alice Rumsey :
Rue’s constant, often painful fight to remain sober I can relate to as I’m a cocaine addict.
I take drugs because I am in pain, I’m seeking temporary freedom from the pain of my own existence. I am seeking something more, something more than just eating, sleeping, working, entertainment. I’m a highly empathetic person, who has a lot of self awareness, social awareness, and I understand that I live in a highly capitalist hellscape, that prioritises profits over people,and cares more about productivity than mental health. Stop trying to present me as fundamentally flawed, and divergent? No, I just haven’t lost my humanity and I’m aware of how everything is so messed up, and the logical answer is to try and avoid it by consuming anything that makes me feel better. I don’t abuse drugs, I love them. It’s not that I can’t talk about my problems, it’s just I can’t deal with them.
Nobody does drugs just for the high. That's a surface-level explanation that people give you, but not the real one. Because if someone was genuinely content with their life, their circumstances, and themselves, they wouldn't risk their health, money, and their relationships or their future just to feel a chemical spike. People will say things like, oh, boredom, or oh, it's just for fun, or oh, I just like how it feels. But boredom is just another word for the void.
Restlessness is the void. That feeling that someone is missing something, you're missing excitement, that's the void. So everybody uses substances to fill some sort of void deep within their soul. So if you were truly fulfilled, grounded, and satisfied, you wouldn't need to enhance it, okay? Because people realise, oh, substances don't actually enhance things.
They make it fun in the moment, sure, but you pay that back in debt later on. So drugs don't add something to a full life. They compensate for something that feels absent in your head. So you're filling a void. That is why over time it stops being about getting high.
2026-06-01 02:50:48