@drjondabach: Most couples I work with are dealing with this exact dynamic. The husband leans dismissive avoidant and the wife is left feeling shut out, confused, and desperate for more connection. She wants closeness, reassurance, emotional presence. He wants space, calm, and to not feel overwhelmed. So the more she reaches, the more he pulls back. And the more he pulls back, the harder she pushes. That cycle isn’t random. It’s attachment playing out in real time, and if you don’t understand it, you’ll keep misreading his distance as not caring when it’s actually him trying to regulate. Here’s the hard truth. You cannot chase a dismissive avoidant into closeness. It backfires every time. The shift is learning how to stay grounded, say what you need clearly without flooding him, and create moments of connection that feel safe instead of pressured. That doesn’t mean shrinking yourself. It means being intentional instead of reactive. Change the pattern, and you change the relationship. #DismissiveAvoidant #MarriageAdvice #AttachmentStyles
drjondabach
Region: US
Monday 01 June 2026 04:40:03 GMT
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Anna K :
I wanted a hug. He got pissed that Im so demanding 😳😅
2026-06-01 10:30:45
53
katt :
yes to all of this. how does he fix it?
2026-06-01 15:21:58
11
MrsAllen24 :
Lucky me. Divorced my baby daddy diagnosed covert narc, addict and abuser. My DA tricked me till I was too invested and committed to relationship and the kiddos
2026-07-15 00:42:15
0
xgforthvjke :
I asked for a foot rub (try to connect) he response he brought a machine for that
2026-06-17 20:16:11
7
sjoseph :
Yep, all of it! He would tell our pastors that he didn’t want me talking to him after work. One time on a driving trip I wanted to talk and he said what do we need to talk about? We talk all the time. We had only been married 2 years at the time. He would tell me to go talk to my girlfriends instead of him. And now he wonders why I don’t feel attracted to him
2026-07-20 04:28:52
1
dug_in :
Damn... this hits so hard. If i wasnt
2026-06-01 05:15:19
14
Lyse :
DA man does not have the ability to understand … I have stopped giving to him like I use to … he cannot understand but I do .
2026-07-23 15:38:15
1
cananyavas :
Never again! my life is great now without the drama and chaos
2026-06-01 16:25:27
6
RachRA💜 :
Walk away you will be happier!!!
2026-06-02 21:27:28
5
Spiritualbaby444 :
This is it. I just ended a relationship because of these things. And I kept honouring myself around it, so I walked away. Enough is enough
2026-06-02 12:17:03
5
chickshock :
Seriously, this is me. I feel like you've described my marriage.
2026-07-09 08:18:40
1
shonesiawilson :
This the one!!!
2026-06-02 01:55:17
3
Elena De Sojo :
Sooo true!
2026-06-23 00:11:16
3
Doe :
Been there
2026-06-01 04:51:11
6
Lisss🌸 :
I used to think breakups were random. After reading The Forbidden Codex of Influence by Julian Voss I realized they follow patterns. Hurt like hell but gave me my power back.
2026-06-13 23:37:27
2
codeandchaos :
I’m so tired 🥺
2026-07-02 11:51:59
1
just_jill :
SPOT ON!!!!!!
2026-06-07 05:03:05
2
*Rosie* Old Soul KeepLiving :
Wow! 😳
2026-06-11 15:56:02
1
Susan❌ :
So true 💯
2026-06-02 02:21:13
2
Rie🇹🇹 :
How. To. Fix. It?
2026-06-05 05:51:03
1
LoveAmber🇨🇦 :
I have been experiencing this. I finally broke after 15 years. I have begun to speak about my feelings and it has been turned on me. I am not sure if he has actually started to see or if it's just a show.
2026-06-05 23:17:03
2
shesthealbatross🇨🇦🍁🇨🇦 :
Sir, were you listening in on us
2026-06-09 14:54:01
2
iseeyou<3 :
never heard it put this way but yessssssss. So right on
2026-06-19 20:48:03
1
2cookies :
yep
2026-06-07 13:56:44
1
Chosen one :
I went through this for over 20yrs.. it's painful and draining that's why I am divorced
2026-07-07 16:17:07
1
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