@drjondabach: Most couples I work with are dealing with this exact dynamic. The husband leans dismissive avoidant and the wife is left feeling shut out, confused, and desperate for more connection. She wants closeness, reassurance, emotional presence. He wants space, calm, and to not feel overwhelmed. So the more she reaches, the more he pulls back. And the more he pulls back, the harder she pushes. That cycle isn’t random. It’s attachment playing out in real time, and if you don’t understand it, you’ll keep misreading his distance as not caring when it’s actually him trying to regulate. Here’s the hard truth. You cannot chase a dismissive avoidant into closeness. It backfires every time. The shift is learning how to stay grounded, say what you need clearly without flooding him, and create moments of connection that feel safe instead of pressured. That doesn’t mean shrinking yourself. It means being intentional instead of reactive. Change the pattern, and you change the relationship. #DismissiveAvoidant #MarriageAdvice #AttachmentStyles

drjondabach
drjondabach
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Monday 01 June 2026 04:40:03 GMT
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annakarinb1
Anna K :
I wanted a hug. He got pissed that Im so demanding 😳😅
2026-06-01 10:30:45
53
katattitude0
katt :
yes to all of this. how does he fix it?
2026-06-01 15:21:58
11
mrsallen624
MrsAllen24 :
Lucky me. Divorced my baby daddy diagnosed covert narc, addict and abuser. My DA tricked me till I was too invested and committed to relationship and the kiddos
2026-07-15 00:42:15
0
xgforthvjke
xgforthvjke :
I asked for a foot rub (try to connect) he response he brought a machine for that
2026-06-17 20:16:11
7
stjoseph79
sjoseph :
Yep, all of it! He would tell our pastors that he didn’t want me talking to him after work. One time on a driving trip I wanted to talk and he said what do we need to talk about? We talk all the time. We had only been married 2 years at the time. He would tell me to go talk to my girlfriends instead of him. And now he wonders why I don’t feel attracted to him
2026-07-20 04:28:52
1
dug_in
dug_in :
Damn... this hits so hard. If i wasnt
2026-06-01 05:15:19
14
llisataylor
Lyse :
DA man does not have the ability to understand … I have stopped giving to him like I use to … he cannot understand but I do .
2026-07-23 15:38:15
1
canan_yavas_bootyboss
cananyavas :
Never again! my life is great now without the drama and chaos
2026-06-01 16:25:27
6
1971blondieblue
RachRA💜 :
Walk away you will be happier!!!
2026-06-02 21:27:28
5
spiritualbaby4442
Spiritualbaby444 :
This is it. I just ended a relationship because of these things. And I kept honouring myself around it, so I walked away. Enough is enough
2026-06-02 12:17:03
5
cherry71plum
chickshock :
Seriously, this is me. I feel like you've described my marriage.
2026-07-09 08:18:40
1
shonesiawilson
shonesiawilson :
This the one!!!
2026-06-02 01:55:17
3
elena_desojo137
Elena De Sojo :
Sooo true!
2026-06-23 00:11:16
3
doehernandez808
Doe :
Been there
2026-06-01 04:51:11
6
mari08.x
Lisss🌸 :
I used to think breakups were random. After reading The Forbidden Codex of Influence by Julian Voss I realized they follow patterns. Hurt like hell but gave me my power back.
2026-06-13 23:37:27
2
codeandchaos
codeandchaos :
I’m so tired 🥺
2026-07-02 11:51:59
1
justjill1973
just_jill :
SPOT ON!!!!!!
2026-06-07 05:03:05
2
rosiedodd28
*Rosie* Old Soul KeepLiving :
Wow! 😳
2026-06-11 15:56:02
1
faith41189
Susan❌ :
So true 💯
2026-06-02 02:21:13
2
rieelle_
Rie🇹🇹 :
How. To. Fix. It?
2026-06-05 05:51:03
1
ambama974
LoveAmber🇨🇦 :
I have been experiencing this. I finally broke after 15 years. I have begun to speak about my feelings and it has been turned on me. I am not sure if he has actually started to see or if it's just a show.
2026-06-05 23:17:03
2
shesthealbatross
shesthealbatross🇨🇦🍁🇨🇦 :
Sir, were you listening in on us
2026-06-09 14:54:01
2
sweetrev
iseeyou<3 :
never heard it put this way but yessssssss. So right on
2026-06-19 20:48:03
1
2cookies_12112
2cookies :
yep
2026-06-07 13:56:44
1
uniquesource7
Chosen one :
I went through this for over 20yrs.. it's painful and draining that's why I am divorced
2026-07-07 16:17:07
1
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