@thepositiveparentcoach: Today I had an experience that left me feeling shaken, reflective, and even more committed to the work I do with parents. My son was trying to help another child access a toy in an easier way. Unfortunately, his intention was misunderstood. Before there was an opportunity for a conversation, assumptions were made and the situation escalated quickly. As parents, our instinct is often to protect our children. Mine certainly is. But in that moment, my priority wasn't to be right or to win an argument. It was to de-escalate the situation and ensure that every child present felt safe. What stayed with me afterwards wasn't the swearing, the aggression, or having someone step into my personal space. It was the question: what happened beneath the behaviour? Why did an offer of help feel like a threat? When someone reacts with immediate defensiveness, attack, or aggression, I don't believe it's because they're a bad person. More often, I see someone whose nervous system has interpreted something as unsafe and moved into survival mode. That doesn't make the behaviour acceptable. We are still responsible for how we treat others. But it does invite curiosity about what drives these reactions. It also made me think about the children watching. We often wonder why children struggle to regulate big emotions, navigate conflict, or respond calmly under pressure. Yet many adults haven't been given the tools to do those things either. Our children learn far more from what we model than from what we tell them. Today reminded me that supporting children's emotional wellbeing starts with supporting the adults around them. When we understand our own triggers, regulate our own nervous systems, and learn to distinguish between genuine threat and perceived threat, we create safer spaces for everyone. Not because we'll never get triggered, but because we'll know what to do when we are. That's why I do this work. Not because people are broken, but because understanding ourselves changes the way we show up for our children and for each other.

thepositiveparentcoach

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Monday 01 June 2026 18:59:29 GMT