Didiw🇹🇷 :
People think it was just a breakup, but what I went through felt like losing myself. For almost a year, I cried every single day and every single night. I went to sleep with tears and woke up with the same pain waiting for me. I wasn’t living; I was simply getting through the days.
I missed you in ways I can’t fully explain. Sometimes I would go near your gym or your neighborhood, not because I wanted to see you, but because I wanted to feel close to you somehow. Just being in the places connected to you made me feel a little less far away from what I had lost. I never wanted to run into you, because I knew that would only make everything harder.
The pain changed me. The stress, anxiety, and sadness showed in every part of my life. I gained weight, stopped recognizing myself, and felt like I had aged years in such a short time. I looked in the mirror and saw someone exhausted by grief.
Every time I went out, I felt tired of pretending I was okay. All I wanted was to go home, close my door, and cry. There were so many things I carried alone not because nobody would understand, but because I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone. Some feelings were too embarrassing, too painful, and too personal to put into words. So I kept them inside.
I spent hours talking to myself and recording my thoughts because I had nowhere else to put the pain. Those recordings became the only place where I could say everything I was feeling without being judged.
My family saw what was happening to me. Even my mother, who would normally never say such things, sat with me and told me that I would be okay one day and that life would get better. Seeing her worry about me made me realize just how much I was suffering.
There were moments when the pain became so overwhelming that I didn’t want to feel it anymore. I reached some of the darkest points of my life because I couldn’t imagine carrying that hurt forever.
What hurts the most is knowing how deeply I suffered for someone who will probably never fully understand what that period of my life was like. While others saw a breakup, I was fighting a battle inside myself every single day. I lost myself trying to cope with losing you.
2026-06-09 10:03:01