@jeremy.r.ostler: Three signs someone’s “apology” is actually control

Jeremy Ostler
Jeremy Ostler
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Wednesday 03 June 2026 15:04:27 GMT
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xxmorsmordre
xxmorsmordre :
The fact that I used to always tell my ex “It doesn’t matter if you intended to hurt me or not, you hurt me and that’s what you need to focus on. Intent doesn’t override impact.”
2026-06-03 20:54:30
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lucyp537
lucyp537 :
what's it called when he apologizes all the time though nothing changes. and then a few days ago he says "I did my best and you can't accuse me of anything."
2026-07-22 07:48:04
0
user1756734812767
pat :
How about “ I’m sorry you feel that way “?
2026-06-04 22:36:58
491
white.wolf.tiktok
White Wolf TikTok :
“You should’ve over it by now” is one I get
2026-06-08 05:31:23
58
liveandletbe
liveandletbe :
I told my dad, "I don't accept your apology, because you think it absolves you. until you choose to change this behavior there will be no reconciliation." he changed, and sometimes it stuck long term
2026-06-05 15:35:35
206
growingandlearning
user1241900250676 :
I recently had someone say to me "I say sorry even if in not wrong" Talk about telling on yourself.
2026-07-14 05:29:59
8
rebeccasusag
Rebecca Susag :
“I didn’t intentionally do anything”
2026-06-08 16:04:27
39
hotmessexpressus
HotMessExpress :
I sort of disagree. Once I apologize, I’ve done my part. If you keep bringing it up, what more can I do?
2026-06-09 18:54:03
5
heavynn.004
heavynn :
i knew i wasn’t tripping. thank you!
2026-06-09 13:48:33
36
falcon6669
lisa :
I'm learning how to be a better person. thank you
2026-06-03 17:42:11
147
jussscallmebrie
Brie Wilson :
The famous “I’m sorry you feel that way “ 😅
2026-06-06 21:12:22
21
lalalaurennem
L A U R E N :
Verbiage/accountability is SO important. There’s a massive difference between, “I’m sorry I parented poorly because I was in pain or ignorant” and “I’m sorry I treated you like that. My pain or ignorance was not an excuse to treat you like that and I should have gotten help”. Someone who’s actually sorry will apologize EVERY TIME and try to figure out why their apology isn’t acceptable yet.
2026-06-05 12:09:05
31
stillystylez1978
STYLEZ :
I never got the apology just told to stop talking about it.
2026-06-09 17:52:43
18
royalchaoticenigma
Chaotic Enigma :
I taught my kids that a true apology comes in three parts: (1) I'm sorry for ____ (2) I recognize that it hurt you/ was wrong because ______ (3) In the future, I will do ______ to avoid doing it.
2026-06-25 22:02:04
9
cristinalugo_
Cristina renaee :
Someone in the comments said It doesn’t matter if you intended to hurt me or not, you hurt me and that’s what you need to focus on. Intent doesn’t override impact. And I couldn’t agree more
2026-06-08 00:33:22
29
its_jord_
Jorb :
Anyone also on Love Island USA -tok ? Cause this is what I’m sayin to anyone defending Melanie’s crash out with “but she apologized and Bea kept on ” 😭😂
2026-06-08 00:11:38
2
beurselfevy1elseistaken
Bye :
I would say to my ex ‘do you even know why you’re apologising?’ And they never did. They would say sorry to easily JUST to stop them having to take accountability for awful behaviour
2026-06-14 16:11:26
9
lydia.stella7
Lydia Stella :
Apologies, no matter how sincere sounding, mean nothing if behavior doesn’t change. It’s a bandaid that becomes less and less adhesive over time until they are meaningless.
2026-06-05 00:27:01
23
snarkyname86305
♦️SnarkyAce♦️ :
Mine wouldn’t apologize unless I apologized too. I had to accept it as a “misunderstanding” bc she wouldn’t admit to anything else
2026-06-08 04:43:04
8
lotus.nc3
🪷lotus.nc3🪷 :
Let’s not forget “I apologize IF I done something wrong.” That “if” 🤨
2026-06-08 04:31:39
9
makaeittv
Twitch.tv/Makaei :
My mom used to tell me an apology with the word “but” isn’t an apology, it’s an excuse. And if I needed to apologize, she made me do it over and over again until it was genuine. For example: “I’m sorry I hurt you, I wasn’t being considerate of your feelings and that was unfair of me. I love you and in the future will be more mindful of my words and not joke around like that again.” And then you have to show up and not repeat the action
2026-06-04 17:26:18
49
kp_0315
K :
I love when the apology goes like, "I'm sorry, I don't want this to ruin the whole day so I'm sorry" -_-
2026-06-04 19:36:38
63
thistlebefun
Leah 🇨🇦 :
what about people who demand apologies as control? I recently lost a friendship bc she blamed me for something she did, and demanded an apology. no thank you. just because you're the one saying you're hurt doesn't automatically mean I did you wrong.
2026-06-04 23:37:07
11
bec123019
🏳️‍🌈Bec0611🏳️‍🌈 :
I can/do admit I shouldn't have done/said something. I can/do work on changing that behavior moving forward. I can/do sincerely apologize for the pain I've caused and validate the hurt. What I cannot do is stand down when the character attacks start, or the assumptions about my intentions. You're not wrong having feelings about it. But you are wrong about the motivations and who I truly am.
2026-06-04 15:33:28
40
burnt.joy
DYWTYLM :
My partner says that I know him and it’s insulting that I would take anything anything different then his good intentions.
2026-06-08 17:39:49
8
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