Oh my, this was a doozy. I personally would not want to be a second choice of anyone so I may never get past this.
2026-06-04 13:37:58
285
April :
My heart breaks for her. What a cruel thing for him to say.
2026-06-04 15:36:39
311
Diane Baughman :
Yikes. I usually always agree with you but I could never be second choice in a marriage. Never. He doesn’t love her. It was just time for him to remarry and she was there. Sad. Divorce
2026-08-05 20:10:42
72
bewelltraveled_ :
I disagree. He said if she walked through the door he would pick up with her. That’s not losing sight, vulnerability in the moment, or mischoosing words. That’s a statement. I would divorce him because that’s as clear as the day is long.
2026-06-06 16:31:07
135
Just a Dog grandma ❤️ :
I’m a remarried widow. I would never tell anyone I would go straight back to my first husband. My life now is my husband and our family.
2026-08-10 17:25:05
18
HCwannabe :
I think I will have to disagree on this one – he made his true feelings note. Obviously, he is not over his deceased wife. Yes, he needs therapy. That would feel devastating and so embarrassing to hear, but also to know as his current wife. He said it which means he thinks it. You can’t reverse that.
2026-07-25 18:16:59
34
RealTalkWithErika :
“He wasn’t considering you at all when he said those words” is kind of important… don’t we think?
2026-06-07 10:41:38
42
jordanchenrdn :
Damn even if that’s how you actually feel don’t say it out loud 😭
2026-06-04 18:52:08
80
Zariah Fernandez :
Just because he might feel that way doesn’t mean he has to say it. Respect also means consideration
2026-08-07 16:16:05
17
Kimberly :
Even if it is something they both know is true, there are some things you don’t say out loud. It was cruel and frankly, unforgivable.
2026-06-07 02:51:54
53
amrs :
It is also possible for him to not tell a roomful of friends that she isn't his choice. AND, you are correct, it had nothing to do with OP and that is a problem. A spouse should be focused on their spouse. Should I have ignored my husband's cheating because he "wasn't thinking of me" in the moment?
2026-08-14 01:53:31
10
kayeielle :
The feeling he expressed, while hurtful, is valid. But saying that in front of friends? Humiliating and unforgivable.
2026-06-05 23:45:52
22
Sindri :
It’s profoundly unfair to call her feelings “irrational.” His comments to a roomful of people had everything to do with her and revealed that she and their kids don’t compare to his ex. That’s awful.
2026-06-13 00:26:06
21
njoy59🌈🇺🇸💙 :
She may never get over what he said.
2026-08-17 22:22:30
5
Flower :
OMG, this reminds me of a book! Dante by Sadie Kincaid. Dante LOVED his first wife who died of C. He struggled with his loyalty/needs/new feelings. It proved the depth of his loyalty but also the need to properly process in the aftermath of such a tragedy. You would think after a few years, it would work itself out but there’s no timeline for grief.
2026-06-30 14:58:21
2
kp :
It's time to leave him
2026-08-17 11:48:37
6
Andrea :
I hope the OP finds the movie eternity. I feel like it could bring a lot of clarity to her about her situation.
2026-06-05 15:00:27
5
Twisted_Voodoo :
The fact he doesn't seem to understand why what he said was hurtful is what concerns me.
2026-08-15 20:47:32
7
😻😻 :
How humiliating and disrespectful of him to say that in front of his friends. I disagree with you about this one. I don’t think he is done living his wife enough to live his second wife
2026-08-06 02:50:19
11
camilla :
I would separate, so he feels my absence. That comment at the gathering was mean, no matter how you slice it.
2026-06-04 15:06:39
119
fourpeasinapod88 :
I’m a widow who remarried. Late husband and I were also high school sweethearts and he died of a brain aneurysm at 30. We had 4 kids. I remarried 8.5 years after he died. My new husband is a wonderful man who never made me feel like I had to choose and he’s never tried to take lh place. I won’t lie and say I’ve haven’t thought well late husband wouldn’t have done this, that or the other. Or about what I’d do if he came back (spoiler- I don’t think we’d still be together or I’d want to, I’m a totally different person now than I was 10 years ago.) but this guy should have never verbalized those thoughts. She has every right to be upset, hurt, offended. Therapy for them together and individually is a must.
2026-06-05 04:26:36
109
klb_13_13 :
What you said is valid, but he still said it. He can feel what he feels, but if he’s callous enough to say it without regard of how it would affect his living wife, that’s a huge red flag for me. And the badgering after the fact and not giving her room to process is an additional red flag.
2026-06-05 20:42:38
27
L :
Saying in front of others was very wrong. While I agree with you the public display is what hurt her.
2026-08-03 15:08:36
7
jessica :
Sounds like he had an inside thought out loud.
2026-06-05 18:19:10
74
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