spanko :
i remember i got her a crappy little cotton hand made singular peony with the little money i had left. That was the last gift i gave to her, last kiss, last hug, last time together. Ever since then i’ve had to endure the pain to secretly reminisce the past behind closed doors, knowing it’ll never be the same again. The winter Christmas spirit, autumn hope, summer happiness, spring joy that i will never relive again. Ive been working behind the scenes watching from a distance, praying and hoping that soon i’d find love only remotely reminiscent of the good times me and her had, although the hurt was needed in order for me to be who i am now. But imma be real, i still miss her. Not even as a concept, not even close or comparable to anybody else. I miss her so deeply, its tragic. Lately I’ve experienced a surge in sleepless nights and tearful lonely times because i just yearn for her again (not to sound cringe). But deep down, it will not be the same. Not with the current her right now. She has changed beyond recognition, abandoning her previous and more elegant gentle nature. Shes corrupt in her own misunderstanding of love, hurt and pain. I wish i could be the man to fix it for her but it seems she had better plans with somebody else. Its been 7 months since it happened, not a single day i haven’t thought of you. I wish you would’ve stayed.
2026-07-20 00:26:14