@kennareneeharper: “What makes a good mom / dad?” My therapist asked me this seemingly simple question on an emergency call I had made to her a few years back in the middle of a panic attack. I was visiting my childhood home, has just gotten in another argument with my parent, and all of the past trauma was flooding my nervous system like the plague completely taking over my whole body. I couldn’t breathe. I then thought about all of the things my parents weren’t. Joy filled, nurturing, secure, loving, tender, present. I thought a good parent is someone who prioritizes their children, are their when they are sick, are the first call when their sad, they’re a complete safe place. Everything my parents weren’t. So why, why was I so hung up with guilt and shame of still feeling like I was obligated to have this relationship with someone who continued to hurt me over and over and over again. Someone who was unhealthy, who chose addiction over me every single time? Because of this title? She asked again, “are they all of those things you thought of? Are they nurturing, kind, safe, loving, joy filled?” Well NO, she knew that. And in that moment. In the parking lot of a Walmart mid- panic attack I realized I needed to go no contact. It wasn’t easy, there was a it of shame, guilt, and release of all the ideas of a future I once had in my head but after that, just on the other side was FREEDOM. A true freedom I’d never experienced before. If you’re there, if you’re in the middle, or if you’re not quite to that point. I see you and I am you. But maybe just maybe you have that question for yourself to… What makes a good ____ (insert mom, dad, sister, brother, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc.) whoever the person is for you and does this person do their best to be that. If not maybe it’s time for a true evaluation because love isn’t suppose to hurt, be one sided, carry shame, or be riddled with constant anxiety. 🤍 #healingmotherhood #breakinggenerationalcycles #healing #traumarecovery #nocontact

Kenna Renee Harper

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Saturday 06 June 2026 22:40:48 GMT