@uglytruthofcoparenting: Here’s a high-conflict question that comes up all the time inside my communities. Your child has an extracurricular event. It’s on your ex’s parenting time. It’s three hours away. And your ex tells you about it the day before. Now what? Do you drop everything and go? Do you stay home? Do you risk your child thinking you don’t care? Do you risk your ex telling your child you didn’t care enough to show up? This is where high-conflict parenting gets messy. Because you’re often put into a no-win situation. If you go, your child may not even be allowed to interact with you. You might spend six hours driving and never get more than a wave. If you don’t go, a high-conflict parent may use your absence to create a story. “See? Mom didn’t come.” “See? Dad didn’t care.” And suddenly you’re defending yourself against a narrative you never created. This is why I encourage parents to think ahead. Long before these situations happen, start talking to your children. Help them understand that love is not measured by attendance. Help them understand that sometimes parents have obligations, work, responsibilities, and lives outside of parenting time. Help them understand that not being at every event doesn’t mean you don’t care. Because here’s something many parents need to hear: You do not have to compete with your ex. You do not have to do everything they do. You do not have to prove your love every weekend. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is create your own traditions, your own connection, and your own special moments during your parenting time. That’s where relationships are built. Not necessarily from sitting six hours in a car to spend 30 seconds watching your child from the bleachers. I’m curious… What would you do? Would you make the trip? Or would you focus on reconnecting during your own parenting time? Comment GROUP in my DMs if you’d like to join other parents having these exact conversations every day. Know better. Do better. #highconflictdivorce #coparentingreality #parentingafterdivorce #extracurriculars #highconflictcoparenting

Samantha Boss | Co-Parenting

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Tuesday 09 June 2026 12:53:47 GMT