@thepottymouthguru: Some children learn that love is given freely. Others learn that love is earned. Not because anyone sat them down and taught it. Because they noticed: 👉 I get more attention when I achieve. 👉 I get more approval when I'm helpful. 👉 I get more connection when I'm easy. 👉 I get more praise when I perform. So the nervous system quietly makes a deal: 👉 If I become who people want me to be, I'll get the love I need. Then adulthood can look like: - people pleasing - perfectionism - overachieving - overgiving - overexplaining - fear of rejection - fear of disappointing people - difficulty receiving love - constantly proving your worth The heartbreaking part? Many of these adults become incredibly lovable. But they struggle to feel it. Because part of them is still asking: 👉 If I stop performing, will people still choose me? Some children didn't learn that they were lovable. They learned that they were lovable when they were useful. ❤️🤟🏻🌿 #unfuckyourself #thepottymouthguru #attachmentstyles #childhoodtrauma #relationaltrauma ❤️
The child who learned to earn love often grows into the adult who keeps auditioning for relationships they were already invited into.
2026-06-10 16:18:10
33
AlphaOmega :
Not doing this to my children.
2026-06-11 13:25:45
4
Veronica :
I don’t understand how people receive love if they dont help, provide, achieve? Why are people loved for?
2026-06-25 13:40:38
2
₊˚ʚ 🌱AWIE ₊˚✧ ゚. :
ma'am it's 12:22 am you're making me cry I don't need this rn /JJJJJ
2026-06-10 16:23:45
7
rainydayraeofsunshine :
can you have more than one mode of adaptation?
2026-06-10 17:41:10
7
whatever consciousness is :
ohhhhh😭✌🏼
2026-06-11 15:40:02
1
Becken 🍉 :
What is it when you have to PAY for love? My mom charged me a nickel to wake her up in the night, from age 3ish to whenever I grew out of having nightmares. 🫠
2026-06-17 17:20:28
0
_jacky309 :
Is it possible to change?How?
2026-06-13 07:08:33
1
The Lovely Green Goblin :
no free ride
2026-07-18 17:02:49
0
Bryce :
Alright this one nailed it for me. This sucks as a musician. Disorienting when you hear many people tell you you are great at something but when I struggle in front of a crowd and don’t meet the potential I know I have alone it’s crushing. Like no one will give me a chance and only remember that moment I sucked
2026-07-01 15:36:14
0
Crystal67 :
Agree 💯! Im recovering from this kind of earned love..people pleasing- not anymore, NO is a full sentence. I am low maintenance. You’re spot on!!
2026-06-14 03:06:19
2
Bünny :
Thank you for elaborating cuz damn this resonated
2026-06-11 14:47:24
1
AJ :
*snorts* so glad i stopped performing out of spite. now I'm the disappointment child and they have no one to blame but themselves
2026-06-10 16:44:37
3
aquagurl37 :
More ‘how to heal’ videos please. I’m left with the realization on how bad I hurt my kids and no where to go with this.
2026-06-10 23:36:00
3
L.A :
This video made me bawl. That’s exactly how I felt as a kid from my dad that I cut off my life. I never realized just how deep it was and how it affects my relationships. Thank you for helping everyone heal 💜
2026-07-10 08:02:14
0
Klaushausnl :
👀
2026-06-13 16:00:58
1
MissO’Bee :
😮💨😮💨😮💨
2026-06-12 19:34:01
1
Cleoj1212 :
💯💯💯
2026-06-11 16:42:30
1
paulettecake476 :
💯💯💯
2026-06-11 03:04:41
1
💚MeganD🌚🧄🪴 :
🥰🥰🥰
2026-06-10 23:06:12
1
Forgotme :
🙋
2026-06-19 04:00:15
0
Ron 🧚🏼♀️🌿 :
Literally a majority of Asian family dynamics
2026-06-11 11:38:36
2
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