@katemanihera: This is the reality of being autistic. I’m capable of so many things but I also have needs.. I have specific routines that make me feel safe and one of them is a particular reformer at my pilates studio. I arrive 10-15 minutes early everytime so I can get it without disrupting anyone else Today I arrived early but it was already taken. So I found another one and went to the changing room to calm down and tell myself it’s ok. When I returned my senses were super heightened which happens when something has triggered me, so I went to grab my earplugs but when I opened the case they weren’t in there. I went back to my reformer and did breathing exercises with my noise cancelling headphones until we started the class. I tried literally every tactic I could but 5 mins into the class I still couldn’t settle so I ran back to the changing room and burst into tears. Then I waited until I was ok enough to leave and walk home Now I’m at home recovering in the dark, still struggling to speak let alone do anything else. But I’m also reminding myself that this is my experience being autistic and it’s completely valid. It doesn’t make me irrational, difficult, weak or anything else, it’s ok to find ‘normal’ things really fkn hard sometimes. I’m learning to accept that I can’t control everything, I can’t expect myself to avoid, accommodate or overcome every trigger. I used to see meltdowns and shutdowns as a personal failure but now I know I might not be able to do things sometimes and it doesn’t mean I’ve done anything wrong or could have handled it differently. I’m autistic and I have needs and that’s ok ❤️‍🩹 #autism #adhd #audhd

Kate Manihera

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Region: NZ

Thursday 11 June 2026 00:41:09 GMT