Navei&Zion :
It's all my fault. It's always been my fault. Every time something goes wrong, every time someone leaves, every time things fall apart, I can somehow trace it back to myself. It's my fault for not being enough. It's my fault for caring too much. It's my fault for caring too little. It's my fault for speaking when I should've stayed quiet and it's my fault for staying quiet when I should've spoken. It's my fault for expecting too much and my fault for settling for less. It's my fault for believing things would get better. It's my fault for thinking I mattered more than I actually did. It's my fault for letting people down. It's my fault for disappointing everyone, including myself. It's my fault for every awkward silence, every misunderstanding, every argument, every goodbye, every broken promise, every ruined moment. It's my fault for being too emotional, too sensitive, too attached, too difficult, too much and somehow never enough at the same time. It's my fault that I keep replaying everything in my head at three in the morning, searching for the exact moment I ruined it all. It's my fault that I keep hoping for things I probably don't deserve. It's my fault that I make mistakes and somehow never learn from them fast enough. It's my fault that people get tired. It's my fault that people leave. It's my fault that nothing ever seems to stay. And maybe that's the cruelest part of all, because no matter how many times I try to convince myself otherwise, no matter how many times people tell me not to blame myself, the voice in my head always comes back louder, reminding me that if I had just been better, kinder, smarter, stronger, prettier, calmer, less complicated, less broken, maybe things would've been different. Maybe people would've stayed. Maybe I wouldn't be sitting here carrying the weight of a thousand regrets that feel heavier every single day. Maybe I wouldn't feel like every bad thing that touches my life somehow grows roots inside me and turns into another reason to hate myself. Because at the end of the day, when everyone else goes home, when the noise disappears and I'm left alone with my thoughts, it's all my fault it's all my fault.
2026-06-13 17:24:01