z :
Sometimes—actually, not sometimes, but always—I ask myself and doubt at the same time: 'Do I really fit in as part of this class?' 'Do I really deserve high honors?' and 'Why did I get that title when there are so many students who deserve it more than me?' I fear not being able to participate, not getting high scores, and not doing a good job. I fear those pressures, tears, sweat, and deep heartaches—I fear it might all get lost. I have always been a shy kid. When it is time to participate and socialize, I always shiver, both before and after. I am scared I might lose my way and end up at the bottom. Especially since I am in the first section. I want to achieve honors—if possible, I want to achieve even higher—but I feel it’s impossible because of the new curriculum. While typing this, I still doubt myself, thinking there might be errors in my wording, typing, etc. I am trying to lessen those never-ending negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones, but I really still feel my intelligence does not truly deserve the title of 'With High Honors.'
2026-06-12 07:37:59