@zeezoubee: I knew I didn’t look perfect so I didn’t care about my appearance, I knew looks were important so I just needed to look good enough. Typically dressing decently enough made you “good enough”. And I love fashion so that was easy for me. I always valued my mind more. I thought my mind was more special. But the irony was… it felt like people didn’t care about my mind. This pissed me off. I thought I was so much more than my body but every single thing in this world is telling me that is all that I am. So ya know what… I am not going to fight it. That’s the game the world wants to play… fine… But I am playing by my rules. If my body is so important… which is something I think is stupid, I am not going to do what you want me to do with it… I am going to do what I want with it… And ya know what… I was midsize.. it was the worse size to be. Almost every guy I went out on dates with told me I was not their normal type but they liked my personality so much, but if I changed A,B,C about myself well then maybe I would be worthy of love. This pissed me off… At the same time I got catcalled endlessly. On dating apps I had endless options. I was not lacking attention, if anything I had too much I wanted to be left alone. Nothing made any sense to me. I didn’t understand how I was suppose to be. Then I learned some men prefer fat woman… And my mind shifted… that’s when I realized… hold on I actually have a choice. I don’t have to be a certain way in order to be worthy of loved? Being fat feels natural to me. If everyone only cares about my body… Well my body my choice, I like food, food is fun, food makes me happy, I like being lazy that’s kind of fun too, and honestly I kind of like my body being jiggly it’s like I am a giant sensory toy. Being fat was my choice. It was the first choice I made for myself. It’s the first time I realized I can be in control and I do have choices. Now what I did… yes it was a little extreme but it helped me learned the lessons I desperately needed to learn. I am the type of person who needs to push boundaries. When you know what the boundaries are it allows you a space to fully play and feel safe. This is why knowing your own personal boundaries are important as well. It allows you to communicate with others what you’re comfortable with and not comfortable with so they know what space is safe for them to play in. If your boundaries are too restrictive there will not be enough room for play… which in return will not be fun. But the more you explore the more your boundaries open up. And when your boundaries open up you have more space for yourself and others to have fun. Thanks for reading my Tedtalk 😂 And if you’re wondering what I am doing… I am karate kidding myself into learning how to breakdance… 😂

zeezoubee

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Friday 12 June 2026 21:20:10 GMT