@renegadereadingsrecovery: I called for 5 minutes a day for years to keep her stalking behaviors away. I have never shared anything intimate and lived a parallel life since I was a teenager. When I decided to take the mask off at 35 and be who I am around her too - I quickly went from golden child to scapegoat. Only children get to play all the roles. Many #emotionallyimmatureparents describe their relationship as close with their child - until the day the child takes the mask off and the parent realizes they don’t know anything about them. The child plays a role in the parent’s mind and is never truly seen for who they are. One part of immaturity is the inability to separate yourself from others. They can’t reflect enough to even conceptualize someone else else’s inner world. Children aren’t seen as separate human beings, more like pets or objects. Their role is to serve the parent. #emotionalimmaturity prevents developing genuine connection. #insecureattachment #closeness

nadira :

I talk to my parents every day but they are the last people I call when I’m in need of emotional suppprt

Sarah Cannon :

This is such a good point. My parents took good care of my basic needs, but they were absolutely the last people I would ever have come to in a crisis.

Suekpurple :

The last time I was vulnerable and confided to my mother with an agreement that she not share it, within a week I found that she shared with multiple people just because she had something new to talk about. When I asked why she had when she agreed not to share, I got, "What does it matter?" That was 16 years ago. I no longer share unless I am okay with everyone knowing . That has also morphed into "if asked".

Picklesnfriends :

I think another layer to this, is that during an emergency I do call my mom but I’m always wanting a certain response and never get it. I always think next time it will be different and it never is.

Trev :

If you attempt to talk about things that matter you wind up feeling unheard/seen and it makes you upset

Heather S :

So that's, for the most part, how I felt every time I used to call my parents, just out of obligation & guilt, not closeness. We have been no/low contact since 2021 & my therapist calls it a "surface" relationship. In order to have a deep meaningful relationship with someone, you have to feel safe & when you don't, all it will ever be is a "surface" relationship. I actually found I can live with how it is, but that's about where it ends. It's been rough, but so freeing at the same time. 🥹

Tasty :

How are describing my life so perfectly…

Cassandra M :

This makes me feel better as someone who doesn’t call my parents very frequently. I’m bad about calling frequently to talk but if I’m in trouble or need emotional support I always call my parents first

Evermore Permanent Jewelry :

I just want connection but she just uses me

Dirty Smith :

Calling my father I always knew when my “obligation” was fulfilled when he would say “welp my coffee is getting cold.”

kimulmer31 :

No lies detected 💯

Lucica S :

So true,🥰🥰🥰

Royal Magnolia :

User0066334477 :

And they expect you to call them. When I stopped calling my parents I never heard from them again.

ancali :

My parents have each other (in a weird codependent unhealthy way) and I have myself

Jc the goose :

I was in Iraq and called home once. was asked what was i calling for

1111 :

My mom wants me to call so she can gossip about me behind my back

user528036451102 :

Once I tried opening up to my mom about a really bad experience I had and she said “don’t tell me things like that”

Delvanna :

Despite calling my mom every week for 3 years I’m fairly certain she literally does not even know where I live( I moved 1200 miles away 5 years ago)

Good Girl Deconstructed :

💯💯🎯🎯