@haleykloha: Domestic Violence and abuse is NOT about anger or impulse control issues, and this misconception is dangerous. #coercionisnotconsent #abuse #domesticabuseawareness #dv #education

Alison :

This is misunderstood in family court.

Geller Vanderpup: Goldendoodle :

This is a great and important point (survivor)

nat-uralist 🍁♻️ :

Des ✨ :

THANK YOU for saying this! 🙏🏻

undefinable human :

Well, at least this post is getting a little closer. It still doesn’t count for everything but at least it’s getting closer.

Tay | Booktok 📖 💫👾 :

This makes a lot of sense.

Sarah🍪🍪🍪 :

how do i become a dv educator!?

rainingtrees system🌈🌲 :

This…is extremely helpful. Putting a lot of dots togehter. Thanks

J :

Also you speak so well without fillers. I think this video can reach more people because you explain everything perfectly

Miss Monica Labranche Hicks :

Stacy Britt Yates :

This 💜

maeniowa :

Thankyou

J :

Keep saving lives thank you

Miss Monica Labranche Hicks :

Nina Lang :

I was in a relationship with a man who actually struggled with anger and had been through treatment for it as a teen. I guess as a teen he had gotten in a lot of fights and acted out in other ways. He had various coping mechanisms, and never once got violent or intimidating with me. I have also been in an abusive relationship. The two things are not even remotely related.

user Rosie :

DV is a conscious choice and like any other crime, should be prosecuted heavily. Jail and prison is appropriate for predators.

Books.BS.BadDecisions :

It is meant to generate specific results in the victim.

bbockin :

I wish the legal system would address this. When I left my husband, I specifically listed the emotional abuse that my children, the family, Dog, and I all experienced in my complaint. The judge completely dismissed that entire point. the family court system is traumatic for both adult survivors and their children.

ivana :

Im hoping this is a safe place to open this conversation. In my experience, in court settings, Anger management classes are seen as replacements for batterers intervention because of exactly what youre talking about. Even when I pushed back and trying to explain the difference, one of the most common arguments for it is because anger management classes are sometimes run by the same umbrella organizations and they are often more affordable in comparison. The total cost of accredited BIPs can run up thousands of dollars after months of consistent participation. It's said that this is to make the abuser take accountability, but when that's put up in front of a judge, too often the default decision is to choose to court order the AM classes instead. And it makes sense in the context of cost of living being higher than ever, but then at that point, is the price tag even worth it if it just exacerbates the sense that the survivor is to blame for the stab at income? Or is it even worth it to continue to fight for those interventions if, as you say, the most effective interventions are for survivors rather than abusers?

Ginger Bee :

No, no one was surprised mine would do that.

ArrowHeart4 :

The lack of education in DV including trauma counselors and interventions is disheartening

Birdie :

you tried SO HARD to not say aboot

ishwitcola | Love :

Exactly bc you can’t reform an abuser, but you can heal a victim

☮️ Tapati M ☮️ :

Chuck Derry worked with abusers in a program and one day he asked them what benefits they received from their abuse (paraphrasing). They came up with a list that was all about total control and everything revolving around their wishes and needs. He followed up with why they were in the program and it was mostly legal system intervention or losing their families and relationships with adult children and grandchildren (someday).

tobeawake88 :

Yes👏