QuantumCreation2.0
Region: US
Monday 15 June 2026 10:47:17 GMT
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E-Matt :
Picture this if you will... During the 44 years I've been alive, I found out that "rock bottom" has a basement, and it's a horrible and terrifying place. It was a mental hell. I was in the deepest and darkest corner of the earth, where no human should ever venture. I was a closed up, stuff your emotions down, kind of person for the majority of my life. Doing this will kill you, if not physically, then definitely mentally. I would isolate for days, sometimes weeks. Stay in bed all day with no appetite and just sleep. I lost the joy in things that I used to love. I expected perfection from myself, while knowing full well that nothing in life is perfect. I would second guess everything I did. Constant overthinking and overanalyzing to the point of sending me into a hellish downward spiral. The extreme stressing about everything, usually all at once. Even through this insanity, I've accomplished goals that not many people have, yet I did not take compliments well. I was emotionally exhausted and in survival mode. I absolutely hated myself. The intensity of the chaos in my thoughts became so overpowering, I decided one night many years ago, that it was time to make it stop. As I sat on my bed, I said my goodbyes and apologized to my family and friends in my thoughts, for what I was about to do.. I was ready. Just moments after I felt the evil serenity of knowing it will all be over soon, my cat walked in the room. She looked at me and gave me that meow... the one I knew so well. She knew I was not ok. When she looked at me, I saw through all of the chaos in my thoughts for a quick moment. She needed me as much as I needed her. If I selfishly do this, who will give her food and water? She could die. I was so quick to see that my actions would negatively affect her. Yet I didn't see that I was constantly negatively affecting myself. It was severely detrimental to my own well being. Unfortunately at that time, I had missed that lesson I was supposed to learn. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be alive now. Making that kind of deal with the devil was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. [PART 2 IN MY REPLY BELOW]
2026-06-15 11:10:39
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Vet :
💯💯💯
2026-06-15 21:14:44
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🌻💜Crystal🌻💜 :
💜💜💜💜💜
2026-06-17 21:06:40
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