@litemindedtherapy: One thing I find really interesting about this pattern is how often it gets misread - by other people and by the person experiencing it themselves. From the outside it can look like commitment phobia, or emotional unavailability, or simply just someone who hasn’t grown up yet. And those labels tend to generate a lot of frustration in the people around them. But what I often see underneath is someone who is genuinely stuck between two things they both want and fear at the same time. They want the relationship, the stability, the sense of purpose that comes with building something real. And they also feel (on some level that they may not even be fully conscious of) that choosing means losing. That committing means closing a door they’re not ready to close. What makes this particularly hard to work through is that staying in possibility feels like freedom.. but it’s actually not, it’s really just its own kind of trap. You can spend years in potential without ever finding out what you’re actually capable of. Without ever experiencing the kind of depth that only comes from choosing something and staying. A lot of the work I see with this pattern isn’t about pushing someone toward commitment. It’s about helping them grieve. Grieve the versions of themselves they won’t become. The lives they won’t live. The options they’ll have to let go of. Because until that grief has somewhere to go, choosing will always feel like too much to ask. Looking to start therapy in NYC? We are accepting new clients virtually and in person. Book a free consult at the link in bio 🔗 #commitmentissues #psychology #therapytok #MentalHealth #avoidance

Alivia Hall | NYC Therapist

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Tuesday 16 June 2026 12:51:10 GMT