@melrobbins: This is what criticism sounds like in a relationship. Dr. John and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, founders of @TheGottmanInstitute and the world’s leading relationship researchers, have spent 50 years studying the patterns that push couples apart. Criticism isn’t just pointing out a problem. It’s turning that problem into a personal attack. And the moment a conversation turns into that, everything changes. There’s no listening. No understanding. Just blame. That’s when defensiveness kicks in. Voices get louder. And you stop trying to solve the issue and start trying to win. On this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, the Gottmans break down the patterns that escalate conflict and how to catch them early so you can actually stay connected instead of tearing each other down. Listen now! 🎧 “The #1 Relationship Researchers in the World: 50 Years of Marriage & Love Advice in One Conversation”
Gottman Theory is so good. I'm still learning it.💜
2026-06-18 03:20:53
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Carrie Benson :
OMG!! They are so cute and so good at faking the fight!! And this is so good and so true! So many people get into these arguments and they don’t listen to each other to listen. They listen to each other to respond.
2026-06-17 15:31:12
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Ardnaxelaappolon :
I stopped fighting, I don’t give a sh$t about what he does or did. I am in my silence years for now
2026-06-19 14:44:31
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SSK :
Love this
2026-06-17 15:13:02
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ShellBells0308 :
What if you’re so put out with you’re partner that you don’t even really care about doing this
2026-06-18 16:54:56
3
Imad Hanif :
🧸: Two people can cooperate to take a large bag of garbage outside, but if they quarell, they will tear the bag, and the garbage will scatter inside the house... You can always move forward with two horses in the same direction, but never in a different direction...
2026-06-17 17:17:42
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cynicallass :
Love the Gottman's!
2026-06-18 15:29:17
5
SallySmiles :
I love when she said people are immediately coming up with their rebuke before finishing listening to the other person. That’s so relatable!
2026-06-19 00:06:15
2
alysslizathornberry :
Our couples counselor uses the gottman theory and it has helped me and my partner so much!
2026-06-18 06:03:26
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yip :
I think my toxic trait is I can actually handle conversations starting out on this foot and often hear some of what the person is actually trying to say, and reply back to it, and then it devolves more and more. because I've learned that most other people shut down almost completely when things start out at criticism, for some reason I often don't and I thought other people were like that too.
2026-06-19 01:36:35
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yssaolivencia :
if the volume is getting higher and higher would you call it just "passionate" (passionate because of the moment) or there's something behind that word.
2026-06-19 13:40:34
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Theta Mind :
ohhh they’re the famous Gottmans for creating their wonderful compatibility
2026-06-18 01:09:57
3
peacelovelight :
I don’t engage in fights like that… 😳 that’s really mean.
2026-06-17 19:09:03
3
The Simple Pineneedle :
Let it go
2026-06-18 03:41:23
1
JILL BARRY-COWAN, AUTHOR :
Mel is loving this😂😂😂
2026-06-17 21:06:10
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Brooke :
Baha they are hilarious and cute
2026-06-18 19:48:37
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Nicole Carusone Morg :
That is our perpetual argument! I have read the Fight Right book but obviously I need to memorize it to use it 😂
2026-06-19 01:01:50
1
Lindsey :
This is such a good perspective on communication, how it can be better.
2026-06-18 05:31:02
1
AGATHA✨🌱 :
Exactly 😏
2026-06-19 13:47:24
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Jackay Tommy Addison :
Help
2026-06-19 06:53:00
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Sha O'Neal :
The Gottmans saved my marriage.
2026-06-17 23:53:51
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מיכל :
they are so charming ❤️
2026-06-17 23:56:55
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aggie_princess :
whewww... this is so good.
2026-06-18 00:24:29
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Sassy Minnesota Girl :
I love it ... I need therapy just to live with you! 😂😂😂 💯💯💯
2026-06-18 13:05:46
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