@melrobbins: This is what criticism sounds like in a relationship. Dr. John and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, founders of @TheGottmanInstitute and the world’s leading relationship researchers, have spent 50 years studying the patterns that push couples apart. Criticism isn’t just pointing out a problem. It’s turning that problem into a personal attack. And the moment a conversation turns into that, everything changes. There’s no listening. No understanding. Just blame. That’s when defensiveness kicks in. Voices get louder. And you stop trying to solve the issue and start trying to win. On this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, the Gottmans break down the patterns that escalate conflict and how to catch them early so you can actually stay connected instead of tearing each other down. Listen now! 🎧 “The #1 Relationship Researchers in the World: 50 Years of Marriage & Love Advice in One Conversation”

Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins
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Wednesday 17 June 2026 15:09:19 GMT
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butterflymoon114
ButterflyMoon :
Gottman Theory is so good. I'm still learning it.💜
2026-06-18 03:20:53
26
mrscbenson94
Carrie Benson :
OMG!! They are so cute and so good at faking the fight!! And this is so good and so true! So many people get into these arguments and they don’t listen to each other to listen. They listen to each other to respond.
2026-06-17 15:31:12
25
ardnaxelaappolon
Ardnaxelaappolon :
I stopped fighting, I don’t give a sh$t about what he does or did. I am in my silence years for now
2026-06-19 14:44:31
0
user8681118169213
SSK :
Love this
2026-06-17 15:13:02
25
shellbells0308
ShellBells0308 :
What if you’re so put out with you’re partner that you don’t even really care about doing this
2026-06-18 16:54:56
3
imad.hanif
Imad Hanif :
🧸: Two people can cooperate to take a large bag of garbage outside, but if they quarell, they will tear the bag, and the garbage will scatter inside the house... You can always move forward with two horses in the same direction, but never in a different direction...
2026-06-17 17:17:42
8
cynicallass
cynicallass :
Love the Gottman's!
2026-06-18 15:29:17
5
smilesofsallyonline
SallySmiles :
I love when she said people are immediately coming up with their rebuke before finishing listening to the other person. That’s so relatable!
2026-06-19 00:06:15
2
alysslizathornberry
alysslizathornberry :
Our couples counselor uses the gottman theory and it has helped me and my partner so much!
2026-06-18 06:03:26
3
rosemoonwater
yip :
I think my toxic trait is I can actually handle conversations starting out on this foot and often hear some of what the person is actually trying to say, and reply back to it, and then it devolves more and more. because I've learned that most other people shut down almost completely when things start out at criticism, for some reason I often don't and I thought other people were like that too.
2026-06-19 01:36:35
4
yssaolivencia
yssaolivencia :
if the volume is getting higher and higher would you call it just "passionate" (passionate because of the moment) or there's something behind that word.
2026-06-19 13:40:34
0
thetamind
Theta Mind :
ohhh they’re the famous Gottmans for creating their wonderful compatibility
2026-06-18 01:09:57
3
peacelovelight
peacelovelight :
I don’t engage in fights like that… 😳 that’s really mean.
2026-06-17 19:09:03
3
thesimplepineneedle
The Simple Pineneedle :
Let it go
2026-06-18 03:41:23
1
jillbarrycowan
JILL BARRY-COWAN, AUTHOR :
Mel is loving this😂😂😂
2026-06-17 21:06:10
0
alumen44
Brooke :
Baha they are hilarious and cute
2026-06-18 19:48:37
0
nicolethecrazyone
Nicole Carusone Morg :
That is our perpetual argument! I have read the Fight Right book but obviously I need to memorize it to use it 😂
2026-06-19 01:01:50
1
mamalins91
Lindsey :
This is such a good perspective on communication, how it can be better.
2026-06-18 05:31:02
1
billiondollar639
AGATHA✨🌱 :
Exactly 😏
2026-06-19 13:47:24
0
jackaytommyaddiso
Jackay Tommy Addison :
Help
2026-06-19 06:53:00
0
breathemommadragon
Sha O'Neal :
The Gottmans saved my marriage.
2026-06-17 23:53:51
0
shimhnxx74z
מיכל :
they are so charming ❤️
2026-06-17 23:56:55
0
aggie_princess11
aggie_princess :
whewww... this is so good.
2026-06-18 00:24:29
0
cheryl.mn
Sassy Minnesota Girl :
I love it ... I need therapy just to live with you! 😂😂😂 💯💯💯
2026-06-18 13:05:46
0
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