Codependency Kate
Region: US
Wednesday 17 June 2026 20:19:36 GMT
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LastUnicorn :
Intention doesn’t matter because the consequence is the same. Lying is intentional…
2026-06-17 20:53:57
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Devorah Black :
Hot take: The therapist doesn't want to label the husband as abusive, because then she would have to admit that she (the therapist) is participating in the abuse as well.
2026-07-25 01:34:33
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Ash 🇨🇦 :
my husband and i use the term "unintentional gaslighting". we both trust it means that the person doing it didnt mean it that way and there is an aspect of the situation we are both blind to and need to figure out where it is. most of the time its due to i speak precisely, he speaks vaguely. often this means he misses crucial words in my opinion, that signify his thought direction. for him, he thinks his thought direction in those moments is obvious. so now we have a thumb signal. if he speaks and its triggering, I do thumbs down. when he sees that he adds more words. if he sees a thumbs up!n its rectifying. if he sees another thumbs down, we stop and talk. the two of us were raised VERY differently, so our communication styles and cognitive styles are super different. but we TRUST the character of eachother, so we know its always us against the miscommunication or blind spot on cognition - not a moral failure.
2026-06-22 19:48:05
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nikki___________________ :
Thank you so much for addressing this. It was an incredibly uncomfortable moment for me where initially i felt a lot of shame for ‘throwing that term around’ about a ‘good guy’ but also the uncomfortable realisation that even my therapist doesn’t believe me or at the very least believed I was exaggerating. It made me feel even more ‘crazy’ for a moment. Now I realise I need to fire our therapist.
2026-06-19 21:46:54
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Old Mode :
I think the really interesting part is that someone can be aware that the broader pattern is true, but then when a specific instance is discussed, be completely unaware. I was in a relationship with someone who was incredibly emotionally self aware in terms of a “diagnosis”, aware of patterns of defensiveness and shame. But still have issues with what you’re describing. It really took a long time for me to understand that a generally empathetic and well meaning person can do this too, and I think I was actually overly wishy washy about it as a result.
2026-06-17 22:50:15
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Ignobler :
Whoosh eh?
2026-06-21 13:57:42
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Ro :
SO MUCH THIS. There is a reality, there is a core truth.
2026-06-19 03:06:20
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ELL….for$$trip…$$&me :
The research around NPD is pretty clear that gaslighting is often defensive and invisible to the person doing it. They are not able to integrate the “bad” actions at all. It’s really important that we stay with reality because with some people, their reality is designed not to see how they truly impact the ones that depend on them.
2026-06-17 21:10:05
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dumpsterfire_vampire :
Literally!!! Acting like the dynamic is equal when the relationship is anything but
2026-06-17 22:25:37
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Dee :
I know my mam gaslit me, but after years of trying to make sense of it and understand it I come to realise I don't think there was intent behind it. I think she just couldn't face what she did to me so it was easier to deny, deflect and eventually challenge my memories, bring in my mental health as a reason I might be remembering wrong etc. I don't think there was malicious intent, just someone with a weak ego who couldn't handle being wrong. but the impact on me was beyond words. I thought I was going crazy, I resorted to record our conversation, just for my own personal use to prove to myself that I wasn't remembering wrong. it was a very dark period in my life
2026-06-18 13:46:42
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Speech Therapy Chronicles :
If the number of times lying and denial happens can be counted, it’s data, not an opinion. Whether or not it clicks in your conscious mind, when you put a number to the pattern inherently it implies that more undetectable untruths are at least possible if not likely or certain. Some of that is inevitable. We’re human and fallible. If it’s the default setting it creates a problem.
2026-06-18 07:38:17
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Nika D VP :
often its confabulation
2026-06-22 15:18:02
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