ume :
I graduated from SHS and bagged many medals, all from being a hardworking Class President and Club Vice President, I had "with highest honor" beside my name once announced in front, was recognized by the Senate by awarding me a Golden Medal of Excellence, but that night, I realized one thing: I saw how my classmates celebrated together. At that time, instead of feeling happy that I've finally achieved the dreams I've had from Junior High, I felt hollowed out.
I traced back to my experiences during High School, remembering how everyone in the class had experienced sleepover for at least 5 times a month the whole school year. I watched them get along around me and was confused as to why they seemed so content with what they had. I thought that it's satisfying to be the one to sit on the top, but I seemed more like a spectator rather than someone who's supposed to stand beside them.
My first and only sleepover was with them, and it took me a lot of begging for my strict parents to let me with them, it took me a whole pile of school work with research defense, final presentations, and a product project. When we had the sleepover, I thought I was gonna suffer again by doing everything on my own, but I was proven wrong. Not only did my classmates help me, I genuinely felt like I belonged there for once.
From then, I concluded that I regret a lot of things. I regret being too hard on myself to the point of robbing myself of the experiences a teenager me should have experienced. I took away the chances of making memories I can hold onto. I regret not putting in any trust in my peers even if they've been willing to help me. I regret refusing to see them as my friends, thinking that they'll only disappear again. Because now, I'm attending college with no friends, no motivation, and no actual dreams. The only thing I was thinking of was to meet the expectations of the people around me.
For those who are still in High School, I assure you that while it's worth it to have proof of your diligence as a student, do NOT neglect your own wants. Your own yearning and your own happiness. I plead for you guys to listen to what your heart is telling you.
2026-06-20 04:27:48