— Loving you was the best decision I ever made. — You say that like it surprises you. — It does, a little. I don't say things like that often. — Why not? — Because most of the time when people say it, there's a but coming. Some kind of asterisk. I love you, but. It was good, but. — And there's no but here? — No but here. — That's rare for you. — It is. I think I spent a long time waiting for the asterisk to show up. Like I kept bracing for the moment this would turn into one of those stories I tell carefully, the ones with all the warnings built in. — And it didn't. — It didn't. It just kept being what it was. Good. Steady. The kind of thing that didn't need me to manage it or brace for it or explain it away later. — That must feel strange after everything before. — It does. I'm used to looking back at things and finding the cracks I missed at the time. With this, I look back and I just find more reasons it made sense. — So what does it feel like, loving someone and having it actually work? — Quiet, mostly. Not in a boring way. In a way where I'm not constantly listening for something to go wrong. — You used to do that. — Constantly. With everything. I'd be in the middle of something good and already preparing for the version where it stops being good. — And now? — Now I just. Get to be here. In it. Without the bracing. — That sounds like relief. — It is. It's relief I didn't know I was missing until I stopped needing it. — So when you say it was the best decision of your life. — I mean it plainly. No hidden meaning, no second layer underneath. Loving you turned out to be exactly as good as it felt in the beginning. Maybe better, because now it's lived-in. Now it's proven. — That's not something you get to say very often. — No. Which is exactly why I'm saying it now, while it's true, while I'm standing inside it instead of looking back at it from somewhere sadder. — So this is just. Gratitude. — Plain, uncomplicated gratitude. For once, nothing to brace for. Just this. Just you. Just the rare, quiet luck of something actually working out the way you hoped it would. #щп #щитпост - @llfocus