It Was Never About the Emojis People will tell you, “It was only an emoji.” A heart. A wink. A flame. A smiling face beneath another woman’s photograph. And maybe they’re right. Maybe it was only an emoji. But what hurt was never the emoji. What hurt was wondering why the attention I treasured so deeply seemed so easily scattered elsewhere. What hurt was feeling foolish for caring. What hurt was hearing my intuition whisper something my heart wasn’t ready to hear. So I did what many women do. I told myself I was overreacting. I told myself I was insecure. I told myself I was making something out of nothing. But pain has a language of its own. And mine kept speaking. Not because I wanted control. Not because I wanted ownership. Not because I believed another person should never notice another beautiful human being. But because when we are emotionally invested, small things can carry the weight of larger questions. Am I cherished? Am I safe here? Do we value this connection the same way? Those were the questions beneath the hurt. Not the emoji. The emoji was simply where the ache landed. Years later, I can look back with compassion. I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t needy. I wasn’t too much. I was a woman trying to understand why something felt painful. And perhaps that is what healing has taught me: The goal is not to prove whether the emoji mattered. The goal is to honor that my feelings did. And they always will. - @alaskandippedinaloha