@drjondabach: Most women (and couples) I work with are dealing with this exact dynamic. The husband leans dismissive avoidant and the wife is left feeling shut out, confused, and desperate for more connection. She wants closeness, reassurance, emotional presence. He wants space, calm, and to not feel overwhelmed. So the more she reaches, the more he pulls back. And the more he pulls back, the harder she pushes. That cycle isn’t random. It’s attachment playing out in real time, and if you don’t understand it, you’ll keep misreading his distance as not caring when it’s actually him trying to regulate. Here’s the hard truth. You cannot chase a dismissive avoidant into closeness. It backfires every time. The shift is learning how to stay grounded, say what you need clearly without flooding him, and create moments of connection that feel safe instead of pressured. That doesn’t mean shrinking yourself. It means being intentional instead of reactive. Change the pattern, and you change the relationship. I’m starting a community to support women through this. Check the link in my bio or DM me for info. #DismissiveAvoidant #MarriageAdvice #AttachmentStyles
drjondabach
Region: US
Sunday 21 June 2026 21:32:04 GMT
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biig_pimpin :
Definitely suffering internally
2026-08-02 21:19:47
0
Haileyy :
Community
2026-08-03 17:58:30
0
crimlawprof :
I dealt with this and all it means is I no longer speak to his family.
2026-06-22 23:01:06
711
EMMA 🧸 :
I had to end my engagement over this. saw myself in the future dealing with this forever and had to protect her from living that life 💔
2026-06-24 04:41:33
177
The C word :
He literally told me that his family was more important than me.
2026-06-22 15:21:10
337
away :
Is there such a thing as avoidant type not dismissive avoidant?
2026-07-18 02:42:04
0
Shacoyia :
This is me and my husband. I have no one to talk to about it and I feel completely alone.
2026-06-28 20:34:33
47
LingLing😶🌫️ :
Yup instead I set the boundaries. I dont spend anytime with my in-laws. he can spend whatever he wants with them but I will not.
2026-07-19 23:27:32
6
Salad Czar :
How do you know my husband so well
2026-06-23 04:19:09
154
DC21217 :
He wanted his mom to spend time with our newborn baby. I hosted her postpartum for two months because of it.
2026-07-02 02:42:44
6
VivaciousVirgo :
Yep. That's why I keep telling my husband I'm not happy. I haven't been happy for a long time.
2026-06-24 13:31:47
15
SoCal Charm :
Community
2026-08-03 04:59:37
0
Megan :
My husband just told me his parents and siblings are his Immediate family 🫠 guess I know why they’re opinions/emotions/feelings are more important than the treatment I get
2026-06-23 23:44:40
22
MadsMomIsNotAMadMom :
My husband use to be this way. Thankfully, he loved me enough to stand up. He “lost” them when he did it, but he protected the family he created. I love him for that!
2026-06-25 07:24:28
24
Nicole Klinetop :
I’ve got so much resentment towards my husband because of this exact issue
2026-06-24 22:23:32
15
Haileyy :
Definitely suffering
2026-08-03 17:58:24
0
karolanneroberts :
Community
2026-08-04 09:24:28
0
mrsgutes :
Community
2026-08-03 09:30:01
0
ash.se.rn :
You’re talking about my husband to a T!!
2026-06-22 22:42:05
43
Psychedelicfarm :
She sets herself free . 🥰❤️✌️
2026-06-22 02:39:29
28
maddie_obrine22 :
This was my life until the last issue a few months ago, which was eye opening enough for my husband to realize what I’ve been saying all along is the reality of our situation and not just me being annoying. He hasn’t spoke to them since and I feel so validated that he sees it now but I also feel so terrible it had to get to this point.
2026-06-24 18:44:37
8
Jen :
So my MIL came over to celebrate Fathers Day ON Fathers Day. This Sunday is my bday dinner celebration, but she told me the dinner is for my bday but also to celebrate Father’s Day. AGAIN. I can’t even celebrate my bday the way I want
2026-06-24 22:41:58
12
Meow :
After 8 years I was done. He finally cut them off but I’m still mad
2026-06-24 12:30:41
8
Username :
I needed this help 15 years ago. We are finally very low/no contact with the inlaws
2026-06-23 17:16:10
6
Rylee 🌺 :
That’s why I moved out ✌️keep my peace
2026-08-02 05:21:43
2
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