@drjondabach: Most women (and couples) I work with are dealing with this exact dynamic. The husband leans dismissive avoidant and the wife is left feeling shut out, confused, and desperate for more connection. She wants closeness, reassurance, emotional presence. He wants space, calm, and to not feel overwhelmed. So the more she reaches, the more he pulls back. And the more he pulls back, the harder she pushes. That cycle isn’t random. It’s attachment playing out in real time, and if you don’t understand it, you’ll keep misreading his distance as not caring when it’s actually him trying to regulate. Here’s the hard truth. You cannot chase a dismissive avoidant into closeness. It backfires every time. The shift is learning how to stay grounded, say what you need clearly without flooding him, and create moments of connection that feel safe instead of pressured. That doesn’t mean shrinking yourself. It means being intentional instead of reactive. Change the pattern, and you change the relationship. I’m starting a community to support women through this. Check the link in my bio or DM me for info. #DismissiveAvoidant #MarriageAdvice #AttachmentStyles

drjondabach
drjondabach
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Sunday 21 June 2026 21:32:04 GMT
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biig_pimpin
biig_pimpin :
Definitely suffering internally
2026-08-02 21:19:47
0
haileyctilton_
Haileyy :
Community
2026-08-03 17:58:30
0
thatcrimlawprof
crimlawprof :
I dealt with this and all it means is I no longer speak to his family.
2026-06-22 23:01:06
711
emmafawcett7
EMMA 🧸 :
I had to end my engagement over this. saw myself in the future dealing with this forever and had to protect her from living that life 💔
2026-06-24 04:41:33
177
thecwordcreative
The C word :
He literally told me that his family was more important than me.
2026-06-22 15:21:10
337
away4994
away :
Is there such a thing as avoidant type not dismissive avoidant?
2026-07-18 02:42:04
0
shaqelberry
Shacoyia :
This is me and my husband. I have no one to talk to about it and I feel completely alone.
2026-06-28 20:34:33
47
malingling82
LingLing😶‍🌫️ :
Yup instead I set the boundaries. I dont spend anytime with my in-laws. he can spend whatever he wants with them but I will not.
2026-07-19 23:27:32
6
saladsongs
Salad Czar :
How do you know my husband so well
2026-06-23 04:19:09
154
djc2121721
DC21217 :
He wanted his mom to spend time with our newborn baby. I hosted her postpartum for two months because of it.
2026-07-02 02:42:44
6
vivaciousvirgo3
VivaciousVirgo :
Yep. That's why I keep telling my husband I'm not happy. I haven't been happy for a long time.
2026-06-24 13:31:47
15
firstdownla
SoCal Charm :
Community
2026-08-03 04:59:37
0
megkarp619
Megan :
My husband just told me his parents and siblings are his Immediate family 🫠 guess I know why they’re opinions/emotions/feelings are more important than the treatment I get
2026-06-23 23:44:40
22
notamadmom
MadsMomIsNotAMadMom :
My husband use to be this way. Thankfully, he loved me enough to stand up. He “lost” them when he did it, but he protected the family he created. I love him for that!
2026-06-25 07:24:28
24
nicoleklinetop
Nicole Klinetop :
I’ve got so much resentment towards my husband because of this exact issue
2026-06-24 22:23:32
15
haileyctilton_
Haileyy :
Definitely suffering
2026-08-03 17:58:24
0
karolanneroberts
karolanneroberts :
Community
2026-08-04 09:24:28
0
mrsgutes
mrsgutes :
Community
2026-08-03 09:30:01
0
ash.se.rn
ash.se.rn :
You’re talking about my husband to a T!!
2026-06-22 22:42:05
43
pyschedelicfarm
Psychedelicfarm :
She sets herself free . 🥰❤️✌️
2026-06-22 02:39:29
28
maddie_obrine22
maddie_obrine22 :
This was my life until the last issue a few months ago, which was eye opening enough for my husband to realize what I’ve been saying all along is the reality of our situation and not just me being annoying. He hasn’t spoke to them since and I feel so validated that he sees it now but I also feel so terrible it had to get to this point.
2026-06-24 18:44:37
8
jenisanicon
Jen :
So my MIL came over to celebrate Fathers Day ON Fathers Day. This Sunday is my bday dinner celebration, but she told me the dinner is for my bday but also to celebrate Father’s Day. AGAIN. I can’t even celebrate my bday the way I want
2026-06-24 22:41:58
12
bingboombopbop
Meow :
After 8 years I was done. He finally cut them off but I’m still mad
2026-06-24 12:30:41
8
usernames14677
Username :
I needed this help 15 years ago. We are finally very low/no contact with the inlaws
2026-06-23 17:16:10
6
_nefelibataz_
Rylee 🌺 :
That’s why I moved out ✌️keep my peace
2026-08-02 05:21:43
2
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