Whitney Goodman, LMFT
Region: US
Monday 22 June 2026 15:33:46 GMT
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Juliette J 🏳️🌈 :
"your parents did their best" okay??? their best sucked, and they shouldn't have had a kid if THAT was the best they could do 🤷♀️
2026-06-25 19:18:15
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Cristina 💙 :
Absolutely. The phrase “they couldn’t give what they didn’t have” is insulting. It’s meant to illicit compassion for the parent’s difficult childhood — but here I am (with my painful childhood as litmus) learning and growing and becoming my best version right alongside my kids.
2026-06-22 17:04:15
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M :
personally I feel like "they did their best" is true. but "it wasn't good enough" is also true.
2026-06-26 20:53:22
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Casey and her cats :
I feel like “we did our best” is very thought terminating. It doesn’t leave room for discussion or introspection. It’s meant to shut down the conversation, and is a way for the parent to excuse themselves from any harm they caused.
2026-06-23 23:22:21
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e :
There can be no forgiveness without accountability
2026-06-23 06:00:34
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atworkcat :
I have definitely infantilized my mother. After I did the work to give myself what I needed as a child, I started seeing her as a special needs toddler, which makes it easier to be patient with her and not internalize her words and behavior. She’s made it clear she won’t do the work, and I choose to see her as someone so fragile she’s unable to, rather than someone so mean to herself and others that she refuses to.
2026-06-22 17:02:04
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ajliza :
My mother has multiple PHDs, always been an avid reader, big library collection... I've looked through it to find books of all kinds but zero on parenting. I haven't found any evidence (books or otherwise) that could point to her claim to have done her best
2026-06-25 20:33:16
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Mikayla :
"they can't give something they didn't get" Okay well I did. I did starting as a child. So.
2026-07-23 23:19:52
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SRM_Mom24🇨🇦🍁 :
I did the best I could. I didn't know any better. Those are both phrases I've said to my adult child. However, those phrases were followed up by "I never knew that I was dysfunctional, because that's the world I grew up in. Now that I am out of that environment, I'm actively working on doing and being better. I'm sorry I treated you the way I did. You deserved better. I can't change the past but I can absolutely change who I was, and I promise to do that. For you, your siblings, and your children. I love you."
2026-07-01 10:32:15
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Courtney Devall :
THIS! I could “get over” the past. However, I cannot and will not overlook their current behavior.
2026-07-25 21:13:52
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Chaos Demon :
“It’s everyone’s first time being alive, but it’s mine too and I never would have done that to you”
2026-07-25 22:42:14
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Onitai :
"if you think me constantly bringing it up is painful, imagine how hard it is to have ti constantly experience it."
2026-07-22 15:42:15
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Sally A :
“It’s their first life” as if it’s not EVERYONE’s first life too 🙄
2026-07-23 20:05:32
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💅 :
I have been giving stuff I "didn't get", all my life. It's audacious to use that as an excuse.
2026-06-27 15:28:57
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Alyssa 🦝 :
I had to be an "understanding adult" my entire childhood, I'm not doing it anymore. I don't owe them anything.
2026-06-26 07:28:21
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isa :
i also did the best as i could as a child… but of course that perspective wasn’t considered. it’s the same thing for the quote “oh but forgive them it’s their first time living” well… it’s my first time living also, what about that? it’s everybody’s first time living
2026-07-10 12:59:31
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alyssaryerson178 :
yeah they dont land well... because I didnt get what I needed either but I am doing the work
2026-06-25 12:41:08
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fenwitch.cottages :
I remember since day one of me being a parent, my mom would remind me that she didn't have access to then information I have now. completely unprompted by me, defensively resenting my parenting choices. we no longer speak
2026-06-22 17:41:32
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maggiemae82 💙🌎🕊️ :
I cannot tell you how insanely healing it was to hear this. I have been so stuck on the “they were so young and had so much on their plates” part of it. But all of the other stuff doesn’t offset the fact that they have had decades to grow and improve and listen. They just choose not to. Thank you for this.
2026-07-22 18:05:07
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Chrissy Diluglio :
I’ve tried to talk to my parents for over forty years, and they never would acknowledge my feelings or admit they were wrong etc…. I no longer have the energy to keep going through that. I’ve been no contact for over a decade, and they are fine with it, and I’m not surprised. They won’t ever change.
2026-06-22 16:31:06
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Sarah Setzer :
I wondered why I never felt better when people told me that 😮💨 now I know
2026-06-24 09:32:03
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Ivory :
Now that I’m an adult and I observe other family dynamics that “aren’t perfect”, I see now that there is a BIG difference between making parenting mistakes and whatever the fuck was going on in my house.
2026-07-15 18:46:47
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Lina Mont iLo :
And then you realize that loving a child is the easiest thing, they were just selfish
2026-07-08 00:07:59
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Disney Dance Mom :
the hardest part for me specifically is that my mother owns a dance studio. so for my whole life i watched her be the mom i needed her to be to other girls. she has ALWAYS been capable of compassion, understanding, and love. my therapist said that she would have given me everything i needed if i had paid her. and that changed my “i am doing something wrong” to “i was never the problem”
2026-07-10 11:41:23
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