Lisa Kays
Region: US
Sunday 28 June 2026 20:02:00 GMT
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D3pSt8 :
For me if I left I wouldn’t see my kid nearly as much and I would have to work a lot more than I do right now. Adding a stressful career and less time with my kid isn’t worth the peace of not having a husband to deal with. If I had a trust fund I would move down the street though for sure.
2026-06-29 03:48:46
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drkarenswrld :
Yes! The bind is the problem. I was scr$wed either way, just differently
2026-06-28 21:36:50
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carawaywatchesalong :
Where can I find more info about reducing the stress load if leaving isn’t currently an option?
2026-07-02 15:07:14
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1cor137sp :
I am living proof that staying in an abusive relationship for the sake of the children can be one of the worst decisions a parent makes. Too often, we are taught that staying together is always what is best for the children. That simply is not true. A healthy environment is far more important than maintaining the appearance of an intact family. Too many people want the title of mom or dad but fail to realize that parenthood requires tremendous selflessness, accountability, responsibility, and emotional maturity. I do not advocate for divorce. I advocate for protecting children from toxic environments. During their most vulnerable years, children are like sponges. They absorb the tension, fear, conflict, and instability around them, even when we believe we are shielding them from it. A mother can still be an incredible parent without a father in the home. A father can still be an incredible parent without a mother in the home. What children need most is safety, stability, love, and healthy examples of what relationships should look like. Sometimes the bravest thing a parent can do is leave the abuse, not stay in it. And anyone who is struggling with a decision has my support regardless of their decision.
2026-06-28 22:42:05
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MellyRMMG :
I am 58 and I just moved to my own home that I bought with my own money after living with men since I was 24. It is AMAZING!!!!
2026-06-29 15:22:34
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ornamentalcattle :
After 16 years of being single, I’ve discovered that I cry a lot less than I did when I was in a relationship. The stress of doing life on my own all these years with no help pales in comparison to trying to build some kind of life with someone who wasn’t a good match for me. I decided the short lived embarrassment/extreme discomfort of leaving him was worth having a chance at building a peaceful life by myself where I could enjoy average stress levels 😂 I knew if I stayed, the situation wouldn’t improve and would likely get even worse.
2026-06-29 18:11:14
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tinastark27 :
My therapist would say “when the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving, that’s when you know it’s time to go.”
2026-06-28 23:56:18
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@Peaches :
So are we leaving or staying?🤣😬
2026-07-01 06:42:45
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Max |Overall Oaf| AuDHD 🇨🇦💄 :
My past coercively controlling relationship landed me in the mental health ward for ten days, and man, it felt like a vacation
2026-06-29 00:54:07
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Patty LaFond :
We have to pick our pain. Leave my beautiful home and neighborhood, have financial problems and break the family just to have peace
2026-06-29 03:11:39
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meredithbackhouse :
100%
2026-06-28 21:27:31
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lovetorun :
for various reasons I don't want to be with my husband anymore but in general he's a pretty decent guy. that being said we have small children together and he accidentally leaves the stove on like once a week and every few weeks forgets to lock the door at night, and more than once I've stopped him from giving the wrong dose of medicine to our kids because he didn't read the instructions correctly and the careless or more like forgetful (but risky) behavior goes on and on. I decided that I dont really want to be with someone else even if I was single (Im tired and I would rather be alone which is how I already feel) and I don't want the financial burden of living alone and I don't want to see my kids half the time and genuinely worry about their safety the other half. so this part of my life isn't called love of my life, it's called keeping the kids alive and healthy lol. and I just decided within reason to do the things I would do anyway if I were single and while it's not ideal it's worked fine for now. it may change in the future but it's what feels right for me. you can judge me if you want I also judge myself for not having all the answers
2026-07-02 05:19:44
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Christi 🇨🇦 :
💕💕💕
2026-07-01 02:27:11
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Elle :
Ngl this whole "divorce is bad for kids" thing... to me it's very obviously gaslighting. Hear me out lol. It's got all the hallmarks of Narcissist logic. 1. Guilt tripping in the form of red herring: don't look at me, who definitely benefits from this belief system, think of the children! What kind of mother would "break up her family"? Uh huh so I should feel guilty for cleaning up this shattered glass that you exposed the kids to? Sure buddy. That sounds logical. 2. Divorce is actually not inherently harmful for kids. So the baseline argument is a fallacy (and false equivalence). The argument is not divorce vs marriage hypothetically, it's divorce vs this exact marriage with this abusive nightmare person. This is a classic trick that all narcissists love to play where they try to enforce a broad generalisation as a strict rule, and ignore all possibility of nuance, because black and white thinking makes you very easy to control (thank you to the What If Nothing's Wrong With You Podcast!!). 3. The narrative itself only works if you feel: Fear of being a "bad" parent (black and white thinking), Obligation to "keep the family together" and Guilty for the abuser's choices to expose children to their own harmful behaviour. Actually I think this is why Narcissist Logic always stands out to me because they all rely on the FOG acronym and I always stand firmly on Team Sounds Like a You Problem lmao 😂 4. After all of that, there's a way more simple Tell to look out for: who benefits from that narrative? (Or as I like to say: Yeah I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you?) Because the core of the argument is a False Equivalency. It's presented as Staying (maybe harmful, maybe we can work on it) vs Leaving (definitely harmful). But that's not reality. Kids are very resilient, a lot of people have divorced parents and are even grateful for that. So in reality the situation is usually more like divorce/separation (maybe harmful, 50/50 chance without further info) vs. staying in proximity to a narcissist (100% chance of harm. Proven to cause psychological harm 100% of the time even to adults). So who benefits?
2026-06-29 00:11:52
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