Lisa Kays
Region: US
Tuesday 30 June 2026 14:54:00 GMT
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True North :
Everything. Every. Word…. Is a breath of fresh air. Thank you for your content. It is articulating my new world view I’ve been curating over the last decade. It’s validating to hear others with the same thoughts.
2026-06-30 16:53:38
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elyssa @ economythos :
This. I moved out & now I have “leverage.” (I had leverage before but just wasn’t being believed I was ready to leave.) once i moved out my spouse has offered to make changes I’ve been asking for. But I don’t believe they’ll happen tbh, and it doesn’t erase the hurt/truth that I’m not bejng freely chosen or taken care of out of love.
2026-07-01 16:34:30
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D3pSt8 :
What kind of word wizard are you?? I can’t believe how well you describe our experiences.
2026-07-02 21:14:50
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Kelmh :
I am so interested in what you’re saying because my husband is allergic to accountability and yet despite being warm and open for years with and without boundaries, I’m being asked to create warmth for him to see what he does. I’m really angry that there’s not a focus on his choices regardless of my warmth. And there’s definitely betrayal, trauma and postpartum abandonment.
2026-06-30 21:18:40
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Lauren🌺🆘🇺🇸 :
As a perinatal therapist, I shouted YES and was clapping at your last few lines. 🔥🔥🔥
2026-06-30 16:04:11
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Lee :
Kids will usually behave well if they feel heard, understood, and loved.
2026-07-02 09:45:37
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Leah Grace :
I love your content deconstructing therapy. Can’t get enough. Thank you!
2026-07-02 23:37:58
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anamreidh.therapy :
I totally agree that leverage is not love. And all too often the abuser is not held accountable and the other partner ends up feeling responsible. It’s crazy making. However there is something to be said for acknowledging you can’t control your spouse, and people do what works for them. So if you’re struggling in your marriage and want it to change, and your spouse doesn’t see the problem, focusing on yourself and what you can do, what power you have, the agency you have, and as well stop absorbing the problems of the other spouse. Let them feel the discomfort, the accountability. It’s a tricky one, because while you’re not responsible for your spouse or their behaviour, you do have some level of agency and power to change the dynamic. However their behaviour is still never your fault.
2026-06-30 22:50:20
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Dr.Laura🌈| Reclaim Your Voice :
OMG. I'm an LMFT and actually teach couples therapy. What model are you talking about, because this sounds wild
2026-07-01 21:54:24
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SolaceSoulless :
Dang. This is so spot on. I have been telling myself this specific thing lately, which is “I shouldn’t have to” work so hard to be heard and prioritized. I shouldn’t have to.
2026-06-30 16:51:43
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user901732376 :
It's upsetting to me when I reflect on the amount of support and service I've given to others that was not returned. If just a small amount had been shown back to me how much nicer my life could have been. And then I'm disappointed in myself for not making myself the priority.
2026-06-30 21:00:51
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Sheena Martin :
I am now in a polyamorous relationship and I STRUGGLE with the fact that I have zero real leverage and that feels TERRIFYING. Leverage was the only way my ex HUSBAND would ever take me seriously. 😭
2026-07-01 18:53:01
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spiderwebbk :
This is exactly how I felt in couples therapy. Every time I left I felt like I had to do even more work and he got acknowledged for his struggles.
2026-07-02 01:42:42
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Devin :
Honestly, my postpartum was very related to him not helping when the baby came.
2026-07-02 02:38:59
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🐸 :
I agree with you entirely and my relationship has these same expectations and I’m not interested in doing that labor. What’s another option ?
2026-06-30 15:27:03
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This is the Bad Place נפ נפ :
Yeah, leverage isn’t love. Whichever side you’re on it ends up feeling like manipulation. Maybe that’s just me
2026-06-30 16:56:54
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Cat bug :
Yes! 😭 Couples therapy has really harmed me in this way.
2026-06-30 20:34:07
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JFranG :
Can you link her book? I cannot find on Amazon. Thanks
2026-07-02 12:20:29
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RJD800 :
Yes, yes, yes! It took me five years to realize I might not have had post partum panic disorder if I had the support I needed, including support during pregnancy so I wasn’t already pushed to the max before adding a traumatic birth on top of it
2026-06-30 16:22:45
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Friday 🧿 :
Right before you mentioned parents I was thinking “family therapy too…”
2026-07-01 01:29:01
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samwise_i_am :
I could listen to you talk for HOURS. 🤯 The path your train of thought takes makes complete sense to me!
2026-07-01 00:22:32
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culturekidsintern :
how do I find a therapist like you in MN?
2026-07-01 00:17:39
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Sophie Grow349 :
me: living the life I always wanted. me observing my partner in cycles of self denial, telling him babes that ain't it for me, is it for you. then i don't do the work for him. me when he takes back his power to express angry or *give himself* his needs or wants: Good job honey! I was hoping you'd figure that out. then me skipping away! 🤪
2026-07-01 18:46:12
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An Avid Reader :
3 months post separation. Whoops - our couples therapist may have pushed too hard on the line. 😂
2026-06-30 18:36:27
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SayQueerLoudly :
i feel so lucky that i didn’t begin by studying to be a couples therapist! heck i wasn’t even going to be a therapist in grad school. all my work grows from my person centered views that were seeded in an already feministic, humanistic perspective, and fed with my child development interests.
2026-06-30 22:21:20
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