theelliebarker
Region: US
Wednesday 24 June 2026 04:55:36 GMT
549845
78354
212
4287
Music
Download
Comments
NotAsahii :
From a therapist perceptive this is definitely anxious attachment, people are allowed to draw space to prevent conflict or further negative interactions, lack of presence doesn’t always equal malicious behavior
2026-06-25 20:37:08
438
Kins 🪁🧊🙅♀️🦢 :
Guys she said disappearing, there’s a difference between disappearing and communicating that you need space
2026-06-25 15:40:22
267
L_ashleyg :
As someone that struggles with emotional overwhelm, I would say this is completely wrong, needed space to collect your thoughts is not abuse. You can’t put yourself to the side and solely put someone else’s needs before your own, even in a relationship. You have to find a middle ground for sure
2026-06-25 14:45:25
124
Merrique :
Sometime I need to repost and I can’t
2026-06-24 06:03:42
95
wavey :
IF YOUR PARTNER CANT TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR ANY OF THEIR NEGATIVE ACTIONS OR ANYTHING AT ALL, WHAT THEN? Highlighting the importance of both sides, not yelling in this comment
2026-06-25 22:27:23
147
Aidan :
The difference is the comment of saying “hey I need some space, give me x amount of time and then let’s come back together to talk” contrary just going distance out of no where without reassurance
2026-06-25 17:43:14
65
ej :
As someone with bpd, no. I need time to calm tf down when I split. Bc otherwise I’ll cause more damage bc I’m triggered. And if you don’t take time to assess the situation and come back to it in a calm state, you’re not going to be able to communicate in a healthy way. It is 100% FINE to take time to destress. But communication to tell them you need that time is essential. So no, it’s prioritizing yourself and your relationship to emotionally ground yourself. You don’t have to engage RIGHT AWAY. You can take a few moments to collect yourself, as long as you come back to it. The REST method works extremely well when you actually incorporate it into your daily life. And every relationship is different so don’t expect your needs to be other ppls needs.
2026-06-25 23:44:10
22
alexis :
i understand this feeling, but i’ve also been the person to say i need a moment. communicating you need a moment, vs disappearing on your partner with no notice, is such a difference. i vocalize my moments to my bf, but he learning to. sometimes i come looking for him around the house and it sucks not knowing where the hell he’s disappeared and for how long. communication is so big.
2026-07-03 15:29:08
6
Michael Sargent 🦆 :
Just got anxiety reading this.. we aren’t even together anymore and I still get bothered by it. 😞
2026-06-25 07:33:04
17
bbysoulambs :
notice she said disappear not communicate space and then honor the boundary you set by returning after that time. she’s talking stonewalling, shutting down, and ghosting.
2026-06-26 21:41:17
7
highfive37 :
and that called avoidant behaviour.
2026-06-25 01:52:08
30
timelordtori :
Taking a minute by yourself and then returning to repair the conflict is far better than dismissing he conflict by saying “I’m sorry” or “let’s talk about this later” then acting like everything is okay when the conflict was never resolved or repaired.
2026-06-29 13:16:13
9
KEWIE ❄️ :
I think there’s levels, if your partner ducks out for days on end and ghosts you - yeah it’s sending a message and manipulating the narrative. Creates a paranoia that if conflict arises again you’ll be punished, and that punishment is no contact until they decide they want to communicate. And then you’ll be so scared of them disappearing you’ll slowly push all feelings down. However, a partner who needs space in the midst of an argument to decompress and breathe I think it perfectly fine. Everyone processes emotions differently and some people just need to take themselves out of the way for 10 minutes to breathe. If you’re an anxious type but not allowing your partner to communicate in the way they need to comfortable, you’re also being emotionally abusive. It’s not a one sided relationship, and boundaries are important.
2026-06-27 01:53:56
7
ScarlettValentine :
It’s complicated. Some people need space after a fight. As a couple, figuring out how that works for both of you is something you could ask a therapist.
2026-06-26 01:33:23
8
Eduard✌️ :
I only respectfully asked not to getting defensive and not to be shouted at and excited that we can talk through conflict peacefully… This what I received and responded finally “Okay, take care”…
2026-06-25 12:30:09
5
Citri_ly :
Sometimes u do need some space after a conflict to process. not everything is emotional abuse
2026-06-25 12:30:05
6
jgxiydjtditditd :
Work on your anxious attachment and learn to regulate it will save your life. ❤️
2026-06-26 06:15:39
1
parker :
Wrong fyp
2026-06-25 03:15:11
7
celestialangel🪽 :
Yes but.. I can’t..
2026-06-24 07:57:49
6
jacob :
at least one person understands😭
2026-06-24 09:44:58
5
Jon Snow :
my gf be like
2026-07-20 22:15:27
1
Lauren এ :
taking 30 minutes and then regrouping is actually an extremely healthy tactic to be able to use during an argument. the circling back is the healthy part, you MUST do this once you are calm. your frontal lobe shuts off during arguments preventing you from creating a logical thought process.
2026-06-26 13:19:23
2
from Mount Cynthus :
not every uncomfortable feeling is evidence of abuse. anxiety, abandonment fears, and emotional triggers are real, but they don’t automatically mean the other person’s behavior is abusive. your interpretation of an event is not the event itself😅
2026-06-25 14:29:01
5
To see more videos from user @theelliebarker, please go to the Tikwm
homepage.
