@beccasday: I used to do this all the time. I’d send a message and suddenly find myself checking my phone every few minutes. Sometimes I’d leave the chat open just so I could catch the exact moment it changed from ‘delivered’ to ‘read’. At the time, I thought I was waiting for them to read my message. Looking back, I wasn’t. I was waiting for reassurance. Because when you have an anxious attachment style, a read receipt can start to mean so much more than a read receipt. If they read it quickly, they’re interested. If they take longer than usual, something must be wrong. If they’ve read it but haven’t replied, now the spiral begins. The problem is that none of those things are facts… They’re stories your anxious brain creates when it’s trying to find certainty. What I’ve learnt is that the more we monitor, the worse we tend to feel. We become hyper-aware of every tiny detail and start treating normal human behaviour as evidence that something is wrong. A delayed reply isn’t rejection. A read receipt isn’t a measure of your worth. And somebody being unavailable for a few hours doesn’t automatically mean their feelings have changed. To start my healing journey, instead of sitting there watching the chat, checking if they’d read it, or trying to work out what their response time meant, I started bringing my attention back to my own life. I’d go for a walk, focus on work, call a friend, or head to the gym. Not because the anxiety instantly disappeared, but because I realised that every minute I spent monitoring someone else’s behaviour was a minute I wasn’t spending building my own sense of safety. Healing isn’t about learning not to care, it’s about learning that I could feel anxious and uncertain without needing someone else to make me feel okay. The goal isn’t to stop caring about people. The goal is to stop making your emotional wellbeing dependent on every notification that appears on your phone. That’s exactly why I created Peace Over Panic 🤍 It’s my anxious attachment healing guide & workbook designed to help you understand your triggers, regulate your nervous system, stop spiralling, and build genuine emotional security from within. Comment PEACE and I’ll send you the link to the PDF version of my guide ❤️‍🩹🫶🏻🤍 #anxiousattachment #abandonmentwound #relationshipanxiety #attachmentstyles #anxiousattachmentstyle

Becksdickinson

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Wednesday 24 June 2026 05:12:35 GMT