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When you’re more anxiously attached, it’s so easy to feel the urge to get reassurance and validation from your partner.  If you’re navigating a conflict, feeling insecure about the connection, noticing their body language or tone is “off,” or if there’s distance in your communication, you might feel the urgent impulse to ask “is everything ok?”, “do you still love me?”, “are you mad at me?”, “am I annoying you?”, “do you still want to be with me?”, etc. You might also try to instantly try to “fix” the situation.  And you might get the exact answer you want, which softens the urgency for a short while, until your mind starts spinning again, needing more reassurance… even though you already received it.  This isn’t you being “too much” nor does it mean that something is wrong with the relationship—it means that you haven’t learned to fully feel secure or safe within yourself in moments of uncertainty.  A lot of times, we can think that more reassurance and certainty will help us feel safe, but that actually only feeds into the anxiety cycle fueling us over and over again. To break the cycle, it’s less about getting more information/words and more about practicing regulation.  When you intentionally start showing your nervous system more safety, you start to build more tolerance in these moments of ambiguity… and ultimately start needing reassurance less and less because you feel more secure within. This isn’t a quick fix—it is a practice.  Next time you start noticing yourself spiraling about needing more reassurance, take a minute. Breathe. Place a hand on your heart. Ground your body. Shake it out. Spend time in nature.  Do something regulating to show your system: “this doesn’t need to be solved right now. I can experience uncertainty and still be ok.” ‼️ If you need more support, be sure to follow me as I’m dropping a coaching app to help individuals just like yourself go from anxious to secure later this June! Or, if you want deep 1:1 coaching, book a discovery call via the link in my bio. 🫶🏼 xx, Audrey  #relationshiphealing #nervoussystem #anxiousattachment #relationships #Love
When you’re more anxiously attached, it’s so easy to feel the urge to get reassurance and validation from your partner. If you’re navigating a conflict, feeling insecure about the connection, noticing their body language or tone is “off,” or if there’s distance in your communication, you might feel the urgent impulse to ask “is everything ok?”, “do you still love me?”, “are you mad at me?”, “am I annoying you?”, “do you still want to be with me?”, etc. You might also try to instantly try to “fix” the situation. And you might get the exact answer you want, which softens the urgency for a short while, until your mind starts spinning again, needing more reassurance… even though you already received it. This isn’t you being “too much” nor does it mean that something is wrong with the relationship—it means that you haven’t learned to fully feel secure or safe within yourself in moments of uncertainty. A lot of times, we can think that more reassurance and certainty will help us feel safe, but that actually only feeds into the anxiety cycle fueling us over and over again. To break the cycle, it’s less about getting more information/words and more about practicing regulation. When you intentionally start showing your nervous system more safety, you start to build more tolerance in these moments of ambiguity… and ultimately start needing reassurance less and less because you feel more secure within. This isn’t a quick fix—it is a practice. Next time you start noticing yourself spiraling about needing more reassurance, take a minute. Breathe. Place a hand on your heart. Ground your body. Shake it out. Spend time in nature. Do something regulating to show your system: “this doesn’t need to be solved right now. I can experience uncertainty and still be ok.” ‼️ If you need more support, be sure to follow me as I’m dropping a coaching app to help individuals just like yourself go from anxious to secure later this June! Or, if you want deep 1:1 coaching, book a discovery call via the link in my bio. 🫶🏼 xx, Audrey #relationshiphealing #nervoussystem #anxiousattachment #relationships #Love

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