@abbyrodmanpsychotherapy: Your partnership or marriage will never feel peaceful or satisfying if you’re always stuck in rupture/repair mode. If this sounds like your relationship, it’s imperative that you identify what specific issues are keeping you there. Once you know what they are — and both people want to work to improve the relationship — fixing what’s not working is possible. Always remember that your partner or spouse cannot read your mind. If something about your spouse or what they are doing is keeping you bitter and resentful, bring it to the table. Explore it with curiosity instead of blame. And work hard to get back into regulation mode asap.