@diary.with.sfo: There is a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from being the only person fighting for a friendship. It doesn't happen overnight. It happens slowly. At first, you don't notice it because you genuinely care about the person. So you tell yourself: "They're probably busy." "They have a lot going on." "They'll reach out when things settle down." And because you love them, you continue to show up. You send the message first. You check in first. You call first. You remember their birthday. You ask about their children. You celebrate their victories. You comfort them during difficult moments. You become available whenever they need you. You do all of this willingly because that's who you are. But then something begins to change. You start noticing patterns. If you don't send a message, days pass. If you don't call, weeks pass. If you don't initiate, silence takes over. And that's when a painful question begins to form in your heart. "If I stopped trying today, would this friendship still exist tomorrow?" That question can break you. Because suddenly, you realize something you were never prepared to face. You were not maintaining a friendship. You were carrying one. Alone. And carrying people is exhausting. Especially for those of us who naturally love deeply. The caregivers. The peacemakers. The strong friends. The mothers. The people who check on everyone else while quietly needing someone to check on them too. Some of us have become so used to being the dependable person that we have forgotten what it feels like to be cared for. We pour. And pour. And pour. Until one day, we are completely empty. And then guilt shows up. We feel guilty for pulling away. We feel guilty for protecting our peace. We feel guilty for no longer chasing. But let me say this to someone who needs to hear it: You are not selfish for becoming tired✅️ You are not wrong for expecting reciprocity✅️ You are not demanding too much by wanting to feel chosen✅️ Friendship was never designed to be a one-person assignment. It was meant to be mutual. Mutual effort. Mutual care. Mutual presence. Mutual respect. There is a difference between fighting for a friendship and abandoning yourself to keep one alive✅️✅️✅️ Read that again. There is a difference between being loyal and being emotionally overworked✅️✅️✅️ Some of us have mistaken over-functioning for love. We have confused endless giving with healthy friendship. But relationships should not feel like unpaid labour❌️ You should not have to beg for consistency❌️ You should not have to remind people that you exist❌️ You should not have to earn a place in someone's life over and over again❌️ The people who genuinely value you will not repeatedly make you feel invisible✅️ Yes, life gets busy. Yes, people have responsibilities. But people make time for what they consistently choose✅️✅️✅️ And sometimes, silence is an answer. Not the answer we want. But an answer nonetheless. A bitter answer that tells you your place in their life. Maybe the reason you feel so tired lately is because you are carrying a friendship that stopped being mutual a long time ago, and you just refused to see it. And maybe today is the day you give yourself permission to put that weight down. Not with bitterness. Not with anger. But with acceptance. Though painful. Because protecting your peace is not abandoning people. It is refusing to abandon yourself, knowing your self-worth. So today, I have this to say to you based on my own experience: Sit with yourself and tell yourself the truth; I'm only forcing myself on someone that doesn't want me because I don't know my worth. But today, it ends. Question of the day: Have you ever stopped reaching out to someone and realized the friendship only existed because you were the one keeping it alive? I see you❤️❤️❤️❤️ #SFO #CalledToCall #OneSidedFriendships #FriendshipGrief #KnowYourWorth

Diary with SFO

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Region: GB

Thursday 25 June 2026 06:00:00 GMT