@thepottymouthguru: One of the reasons these relationships become so exhausting is that each partner often feels profoundly misunderstood. The Hero Child is thinking: "I'm carrying so much. Why can't they see how hard I'm trying?" The Scapegoat Child is thinking: "I'm trying to tell the truth. Why won't they hear what I'm saying?" Neither person usually feels malicious. Neither person usually wakes up wanting to hurt the other. They're each protecting a survival strategy that once made perfect sense. Healing doesn't begin when one person finally admits they're wrong. It begins when both people become curious about the fear underneath the strategy. Because beneath the Hero is often a fear of failing. Beneath the Scapegoat is often a fear of being dismissed, blamed, or disbelieved. When you can see the fear, you stop arguing only with the behavior. And that's often where real repair begins. ❤️🤟🏻🌿 #UNFUCKYOURSELF #THEPOTTYMOUTHGURU #RelationalTrauma #AttachmentHealing #Relationship

Arianne :

huh... is it possible that I'm both?

Reem Elgendy395 :

I dont know if it's possible but I think im both ?🙄

NotMollyMaid :

Being the hero married to the scapegoat, dealing with external familial issues is…exhaustingly hard.

The Pottymouth Guru :

The Hero fears the relationship will fall apart if things aren't held together. The Scapegoat fears the relationship will never truly heal if the truth isn't spoken. ❤️🤟🏻

Hannah :

But when they’re both willing to learn and listen? Power couple. Fr.

greyrockai :

being both is rough. you carry it AND you get blamed for noticing it's heavy the both thing is real. hero in public, scapegoat the second i said anything true

@TrueNorthFringe :

My hero sister gets paid well for her compliance. That woman is more than happy to do the work for her purse, our Mother - Thing. Just saying

erinnewitt :

Your makeup is perfect the colour choices are beautiful

wildcoastoffgrid :

This is my sister and I 💔💔💔 8 year later and no relationship

Someguy :

Rose :

Thank you for sharing❤️. I really feel this is my mother and my brother.

4rs_xys :

agreed 💯

Samia - doctor ethicist🇨🇭 :

How does the scapegoat react when the hero starts to point out truths in *their* system?

Klaushausnl :

👀 🫠