harrison :
I haven’t had true friends throughout all of high school. When I came into high school there were 3 people who I considered myself to be close to, but I quickly realized that as they met new people, whatever friendship we had was quickly tossed. After the summer of grade 10 I was asked about where I was. What was I supposed to say? Waiting for you guys to want to hang out with me? Of course not. So that became the joke, that I had disappeared all summer. I quickly realized that those people were no longer my friends, not out of my choice, but of theirs. In grade 11 I spoke to nobody besides one person, anytime those previous 3 came up to me, it was always brief, a quick “what’s up” and I treated that as a friendship because I was too scared to be alone enough to consider myself friendless. In grade 12 I met someone who gave me a feeling of true friendship I hadn’t ever felt. We didn’t hang out outside of school but through our conversations alone, I felt that we had truly connected. So here’s an example of our friendship: he was speaking to a group of people and I was there, not in the circle but slightly outside of it, part of the conversation, but at the same time, disconnected. They spoke about some challenge between eachother, I only added one thing before I realized the conversation wasn’t for me. But, there were others there who didnt say anything at all, but I knew they were included. For a brief moment he looked at me, almost like he was waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t. Then, I overheard them saying that they were going to go outside to settle whatever challenge they made, I watched nervously as I knew I wouldn’t be going with them, because I knew that if I did, I would look like the annoying guy who followed around a group of people. So as they turned around and began walking I made a similar gesture, but only after their backs were turned I did the same, and walked the opposite way. And as I walked to sit in an empty classroom alone for the rest of the period, my eyes began to tear up. Not because I was sad that I wasn’t included, but that a friendship that I felt I had, was tested and broken, and I acknowledged that I was truly, alone.
2026-06-26 08:21:10