@francismichaelbailey: News Flash! Uncle Francis Speaks out: "Which Is It, Minister? Are We Closed or Is Your Son Open for Business?" ​GEORGETOWN – The "Prehistoric Poultry" saga took a sharp turn this morning as local raptor pioneer "Uncle Francis" issued a blistering public challenge to the Minister of Agriculture, Sulfikar Nustapha. ​For months, the Ministry has maintained a rigid stance: poultry imports have been strictly banned since 2023 due to "national security" and "biosecurity" concerns. Yet, following recent parliamentary disclosures that "limited imports" are now being permitted to satisfy the hospitality and oil sectors, Bailey is calling foul, and he’s doing it from behind a reinforced steel fence. ​The Great Import Flip-Flop ​"First, the Minister looked the nation in the eye and swore on his reputation that not a single feather had crossed the border since 2023," Bailey said in his latest dispatch. "He acted like he was shocked...shocked, that farmers were going bankrupt. Now, he casually mentions that imports are 'limited' for the hospitality sector. Well, Minister, if the gate is open for your friends, it’s off the hinges for the rest of us." ​Bailey, who famously transitioned from a decade of beekeeping to raptor farming after the honey market was similarly "optimized" by political interference, didn't stop there. ​"I’m asking the question everyone in the market is whispering: Is the Minister’s son on the list of approved importers?" Bailey asked, while casually tossing a raw steak to a chirping, six-foot-tall theropod. "Because it’s awfully convenient that the poultry market gets 'saturated' with foreign frozen goods right when the small farmers need to sell, and then 'shortages' miraculously appear right when the connected elite need a new business venture." ​The "Raptor Defense" ​Bailey credits his survival to his decision to move into a sector that even the most daring political cronies avoid. ​"The beauty of raptor farming is that the Ministry hasn't figured out how to monopolize it yet," Bailey chuckled, adjusting his protective gear. "They’re too busy trying to figure out if they can declare a velociraptor a 'poultry byproduct' to grant their nephews a permit. But these beasts aren't chickens. They don’t care about party affiliation, and they certainly don't care about the Minister's son's import license." ​According to Bailey, the "vicious" nature of his new livestock is the only thing keeping the predatory political class at bay. "I’ve been eaten out of business by nepotism and administrative greed for ten years," he said. "Now, I’m working in an industry where, if you try to muscle in on someone else’s territory, you don’t get a cease-and-desist letter, you get a bite. It’s a much more honest way of doing business." ​A Note on Best Practices ​Addressing the public’s concerns regarding his "incidents," Bailey was quick to clarify his recent success rate. ​"Two customers eaten is not what the global manual on prehistoric livestock management recommends," Bailey admitted, "but it is a significant improvement over the government’s track record. When the Ministry 'manages' a sector, they don't just eat the customers; they eat the farmers, the suppliers, and the taxpayer subsidies too. At least with my raptors, you know exactly when you're being hunted." ​DISCLAIMER: While the velociraptors in this video are AI-rendered for the protection of all parties involved, the government’s sudden pivot on import policy is, as far as we can tell, entirely real. ​This is a developing story. ​As the Ministry prepares for its state-run Raptor Tunnel initiative, rumors are swirling that they plan to import "pre-approved" dino-eggs. Bailey suggests that if the government tries to tax the growl of his raptors, he might just let them into the next board meeting. #beemandiaries #CorruptionChronicles #raptorfarm #velociraptor #viral @V-PAC GUYANA

Francis Michael Bailey

Open In TikTok:

Region: GY

Thursday 25 June 2026 14:29:47 GMT