@janetcm79: Fredrick the Spaza Shop Owner Says He Fled Celebrations Thinking 30 June Had Already Started JOHANNESBURG – A local spaza shop owner identified only as Fredrick has admitted that he abandoned his shop and sprinted through three backyards after hearing hundreds of people celebrating Bafana Bafana's victory on Thursday night. According to Fredrick, the loud cheering, hooting and singing convinced him that 30 June had finally arrived, and that the nationwide inspections of foreign-owned spaza shops had begun. "I was arranging cool drinks when I suddenly heard people screaming, 'Yeeeees!' and blowing vuvuzelas," said a visibly shaken Fredrick. "I didn't even lock the shop. I grabbed my passport, my calculator and two packets of NikNaks and disappeared." Witnesses say Fredrick was last seen clearing a neighbour's fence in a single jump before disappearing into a nearby bush, where he reportedly remained for over an hour while frantically checking the date on three different cellphones. "I couldn't believe it when all three said 26 June," he explained. "I thought maybe South Africa had changed the calendar without telling me." Customers who arrived moments later found the shop completely unattended, with a handwritten sign reading: 'Back after things calm down. Please don't steal the eggs.' One regular customer said he initially thought Fredrick had gone to watch the football match. "Only later did we hear he thought government officials had arrived," the customer laughed. "Imagine running away because Bafana scored." Neighbouring shop owners have reportedly started a new WhatsApp group called "False Alarm Survivors", where members promise to notify each other whenever celebrations are football-related and not government-related. Meanwhile, football fans have apologized for unintentionally causing what residents are calling "the fastest 100-metre sprint ever recorded by a spaza shop owner." At the time of publication, Fredrick had cautiously returned to his shop after receiving repeated assurances that the only thing South Africans were celebrating was Bafana Bafana's win—and not the arrival of 30 June. Satire Disclaimer: This is a work of satire. It is entirely fictional and intended for comedy and entertainment. #fyp #satire #funny #BafanaBafana

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Friday 26 June 2026 06:32:21 GMT